


Le Pathétique No. 6

by lumienarc



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Bullying, Dysfunctional Family, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Suicide Attempt, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2017-10-02
Packaged: 2018-11-18 19:52:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11297679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumienarc/pseuds/lumienarc
Summary: Eun Jiwon’s muddy path began with room number 6 and a blond intruder (later: neighbour) who thoughtlessly attempted to hang himself in that (presumed empty) room the moment he unlocked the door.He came to play safe, avoiding limelight and befriending shades, but he didn’t understand that minor might he pose, grandeur would always be his core. He failed to foresee that the building was preoccupied by problems soon he would find himself untangling and cherishing. It didn’t matter what he thought of himself right now:Ce n’est pathétique pas. Это Патетическая. Even though it seemed to him this piece ended withmorendo.Cross-published in AFF under the same username.





	1. Summer

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from, certainly, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovksy’s sixth and final completed work, The Symphony No. 6 in B minor Op. 74, “Pathétique”, which has been long perceived as a “musical suicide note” or the work of “dying man” while the name itself was a grave mistranslation of the Russian word Tchaikovsky’s brother chose for him. The truth is it might be about death, but it’s the piece he termed “the best thing I have composed”—and many people agreed. It pretty much describes what this story is all about.

#  **Summer**

**I: Allegro Non Molto**

Nothing could be worse than his situation right now, in his opinion. He was moving from the lively heart of South Korea to the suburbia where a two-storey apartment building stood. The building itself was probably as old as himself, if not older—he was informed, though, that it was half his age, but he couldn’t never be too sure. He pulled up his hood back in place as he stepped out of the cab. It had begun to rain lightly—not for long, his hunch told him. It would be stormy this afternoon. He knew this Wednesday, the tempest would come. He walked as fast as he could, after all he didn’t have much to bring; only a luggage and a backpack, so he was comfortable enough to bring them upstairs, where he was going to live from now on.

There were only six rented rooms in this building (there actually were ten spaces, but only six were claimed suitable for living); all other rooms were occupied. He wasn’t surprised, though, with the cheap rent the landlord set despite the dimension of the rooms. The landlord’s ad was suspiciously boasting the existence of one bedroom, one bathroom, a living room, a kitchen and breakfast nook, and one working desk. He thought upon running into the ad, “Is there any living being that could live with 113,500 won income per month, just outside Seoul? This person is nuts?” Then, he realized that it wasn’t the case (also, he didn’t do the maths). Just looking at the building from outside answered his questions effectively. Abandoned building should be a fitting description.

“My phone’s dead again. Aish, I should have thrown it away,” he muttered angrily to himself. His attempt to peek on his phone’s clock bore no fruit other than flickering list of recently opened apps and his home screen—his eyes grew immensely tired just from looking briefly at it. He shoved it back to his pocket and continued upstairs, dragging his luggage behind. He panted heavily when he reached the upper landing. His body was much weaker these days, he mournfully admitted. His knees were hurting the most even though it was just one level travel. So, he took a moment before he continued to his flat.

His was in front of his new living space, the room with the ominous number 6 on its door. He had been here the other day with the landlord, settling the rent for next three months and set of keys, but it was still unbelievably foreign for him. He knew it wasn’t much and he knew what to and not to expect, but he certainly didn’t expect to find a man standing on tall stool in the middle of his kitchen, hands around a designated loop of rope that gave anyone who saw as an attempt to hang oneself. He locked eyes with the man, shocked to the core, but only flinched slightly. The man, however, was frozen solid.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought this was number six. I must have been given wrong keys. I’ll contact the landlord, excuse me,” he said, drawing himself away from the doorway nervously. He smacked his lips, subtly showing his uneasiness as soon as he turned away from the stranger’s line of sight.

“Wait,” the stranger called. He heard rustling sounds and a thud. “No, I’m sorry. This is number six—I’m so sorry.”

The stranger fumbled towards the doorway, apologetically bowing to the new occupant. It was darker inside than outside, despite the weather was slowly shifting greyer than it was ten minutes ago. He could see the stranger was a man in white clothes, bleached blond hair styled as if it was still ‘98. He eyed the man suspiciously and stepped back further, unsure about his next move. He had never accidentally run into someone in the middle of hanging himself, and it wasn’t remotely a good experience.

“Just…” he opened his mouth, trying hard to hold back whatever running amok inside himself, “Just get the fuck out of here.” His voice came out weaker than it was expected, unfitting for the quite rough words. The stranger straightened his back slowly, but only after he was several steps away from the door. The blond man walked away hastily—apparently he lived in room number ten, near the stairs.

“At least try it in your own room, bastard,” he mumbled, covering his shock with what seemed to be tone of annoyance.

He sighed loudly and grunted along his ungratefully-stuck-at-the-entrance luggage. He cursed under his breath, throwing jinxes at the slightly higher tiles and his incapability to think through—such as turning on the lights first before trying to enter. He didn’t run out of misfortunes even after that—thanks a lot, fate. The water was brown because the pipes were unused for too long. The electric kettle was rusty, too, but thankfully only on the outside. It didn’t produce good degree of water to brew his standard of perfect coffee—he needed Americano direly. The fridge required some cleaning as well.

“At least I still have a decent place to live,” he comforted himself, staring at the hanging rope next to the counter. He sat on the same stool the stranger was standing on earlier, with a cup of hastily brewed coffee. He sighed again and drank his coffee, thinking pensively for a moment.

He then stood, leaving the cup on the counter, to take the rope down. He threw it at nearby plastic hamper. He rummaged through his backpack, and then luggage, beginning to make himself at home. First: Clothes into the humble polymer wardrobe’s drawers; then, a single framed photograph on the top of it, and lastly, papers thrown carelessly to the desk top. He spent a full minute staring at the photograph, nostalgic look palpable on his face.

It was a picture of himself with a teen girl, slightly thicker than normal Korean girls in almost all her body parts. He wore a white suit and she a modest pale blue dress. There was an extra hand that hugged the teenager from behind, but whoever owned that hand had their portion in the picture ripped for good. The remaining two of them seemed to be filled with overflowing happiness, although sadly it looked nothing more than a distant memory for him now. He caressed the frame gently, eyes even more softened. He clenched his jaw and swiftly left it all behind. He watched as storm arrived at his window.

“ _You are nothing but a fragment of illusionary perfect man I fell in love with._ ”

The look on his face hardened and a frown appeared right away. He glared into the dancing wind, fists clenched.

“ _His blood runs in you._ ”

He gritted his teeth as his blood boiled. He felt the anger in his every cell, every breath he took spoke of fire inside. Distrust. Malady. Fallacy. A bullet and a fancy dinner. An empty room adorned with only glass walls. It wasn’t his fault, but yet:

“ _Leave now so your life shall be spared_.”

“ _You cannot aver your innocence. You may not._ ”

The judging eyes and crossed arms welcomed him that night, firm-sealed lips waiting to pour their own poison into his vein.

“ _I have always known._ ”

But he didn’t lose his temper, unlike the tempest—raging so freely, having no sense of responsibility, no one judging it and no price would it pay, although everything was wrecked and innumerable cost arise from the havoc it had done. He closed his eyes tightly. His breath was slowly released from the heated chains.

The innocence embodied a pair of eyes questioning his leaving. Sadness engulfed him at once. He opened his eyes and greeted again the storm before him. His heart was full of pain. Those eyes he would never forget.

“ _Where are you going?_ ”

It was never spoken, but he heard it as clear as crystal. He could not reply, not even a single word uttered as he stepped away. He was not allowed. There were only dark eyes on him, but this pair of eyes, and yet, he must not associate himself with them anymore. He regretted only this.

* * *

**II: Adagio**

The blond man left his room once he knew that the new neighbour in number six wouldn’t come out anytime soon. It took him about fifteen minutes to finally peek through the door to check it. He tiptoed down the stairs, eyes still unfocused. He found himself standing in front of their letter boxes, about to open the one labelled with “Kang Sunghoon”—that was him—but he stopped midway and mumbled darkly, “What am I doing? No one will ever send me anything here.”

He leered away and saw the name “Eun Jiwon” was now written on the slot under number six. Flashes of pictures and sweet voice replayed in his head the moment he remembered the recent incident. He began to sweat profusely and hatred boiled inside him, as dark as tar in jet black pewter pot. It swallowed him from toe upwards. He craved death so much—he could no longer bear this torture. _Please!_ The sincere voice slipped into the erratic mind of his, and erased his utmost need to vanish from this world. Sunghoon breathed in and out slowly, getting a grip of himself, and reminded instantly of the reason he had come down here in the first place. He dialled a number on his phone and leaned on the wall.

“Hey, _hyung_ , sorry to call on you at this hour,” he said with stuttering laugh, “I just feel so stupid.” He paused, thinking, listening, and then spoke again, “I’m sorry.”

His eyes were glassy now and his voice was hardly audible. His hands and voice trembled as he talked to the one he was calling, “I tried not to think about it—I swear, I _tried_ —but whenever I am alone, it’s catching up to me. I-I s-saw the news and I—and I just… I don’t know. Why am I so weak, _hyung_?”

He lamented pitifully for a while, but he still listened closely to the words spoken to him. Whoever at the end of the line must have done great job motivating people because the blond man slightly smiled after listening to them.

“Yeah, all right. Yes. Thank you, _hyung_. You’re the best.”

It was merely a three-minute talk, but Sunghoon had felt much better. He pocketed his phone, certain that it was the perfect time to go back to his room, but he was startled by a thunder’s strike, sudden additional pouring of rain, and even more than ever because of an unexpected appearance of a teenager amidst the said blizzard. He was suddenly a functioning human again because of this unwanted surprise. He jumped at the first sight of a girl walking towards his direction. It was close to a horror movie’s scene imitation. He shrunk at the corner, quietly waiting.

The girl didn’t go to him, though. Instead, she merely entered the hall and ignored his very existence completely. She let out a heavy breath and dropped to her knees. She was drenched head to toe, shivering badly. She wore clothes unfit for such horrible weather—casual trousers, sandals, shirt under thin jacket, no coat whatsoever. He, then, realized that ghosts didn’t shiver because of rain—even though it was stormy. No, the outfit definitely ensured that she wasn’t any pseudo-sentient and that Sunghoon wasn’t imagining her. He calmed himself first, and then he evoked his socially accepted persona and walked away from whence he had been hiding in fear.

“Hey, are you all right?” he greeted tentatively. He showed a sweet smile as he approached the girl. She, however, didn’t respond to him positively. She skittered away, clearly refusing his approach, but she hit something thus unable to move further. He only realized that she had a bag with her that moment.

“Are you looking for someone?” he tried to ask again with honey-fuelled voice he unconsciously let out when he was his positive self. “Are you lost?”

It took her a few moments to stop staring darkly, invisible walls around her high and thick, and begin to think about his reasonable offer. The girl, then, scrambled through her wet jacket’s pocket. With her shaking hand, she wrote something on a tiny notebook. She showed it to him. It simply read “Eun Jiwon”, but in Chinese characters rather than in common ones. It took him a while to realize.

“Oh, he has just moved in,” he said, “I know where he lives. Upstairs.” Sunghoon pointed to the second floor. He would rather not to meet him this early after their unfavourable encounter just some twenty minutes ago, but this girl would suffer if he didn’t set it aside and help her.

“Would you prefer me to accompany you there or to get him here?”

The girl stared at him blankly through the curtain of her hair. She pondered for a brief moment with distrustful eyes. She scribbled it down: “Here.” He understood that she didn’t trust him enough to walk with him, so he immediately told her to wait and went back upstairs. Knocking the door was scary—the man looked intimidating—but he had no other options. It took him several knocks until the door was opened.

“What?” the man, Eun Jiwon, gruffly asked.

“Sorry, but… well, the—there’s a girl downstairs looking for Eun Jiwon. You are Eun Jiwon, aren’t you?” he could not help but stammer even though he forced out a bright smile. The man fixated his glare on him, merciless, boring holes if possible. It seemed to Sunghoon that the man was greatly affected by his thoughtless friendly smile. He was probably reluctant to pay any attention to Sunghoon’s words for he just witnessed a man with a hanging rope in his new lodging a few moments ago and suddenly the very same person was standing before him with a blinding smile.

“How did you know?” he asked suspiciously.

“I saw the mailbox downstairs.”

“Okay, I’ll have to talk about you using my place earlier, but let’s discuss the urgent matter first. Who is this girl? Did she mention her name?” The man interrogated, stepping outside and closing his room’s door.

“She wouldn’t say anything,” he replied meekly, dropping his smile unconsciously as the man’s voice broke into his soul and ripped it apart—the man still wanted to talk about his foolish attempt earlier—“She wrote everything down.” Before Sunghoon was able to finish the sentence, Eun Jiwon had sprinted towards the stairs in panic. He vanished from sight in an instant. The blond didn’t understand, flustered at the sudden action. He quickly went back to the hall, finding his new neighbour with the mysterious girl hugging.

“What the fuck are you doing here? You can’t be here! I told you, didn’t I?” the man angrily yelled at the girl, firmly grasping both of her arms. She looked devastated as she vigorously shook her head. She frantically pointed at her chest and then prodded the finger into his chest. The man sounded close to tears as he regretfully said, “You will only suffer if you stay with me. You should listen to your sister.” The girl didn’t back down at all and Eun Jiwon could only sigh. He grasped her hand tightly and snatched the abandoned bag from the floor, leading her to the stairs.

“Don’t you have better things to do than watching people?” he roughly commented the blond’s presence by the staircase, silently witnessing the scene.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he said urgently.

Eun Jiwon scowled subtly, immediately focused himself on the girl instead. He led the mysterious guest to the stairs and brought her upstairs. Sunghoon could only watch as they passed, not wanting to make any more moves that would get into the nerves of his new neighbour—being caught in the middle of an attempt to hang himself was far too much already. He could not help but wonder who the girl was. The curiosity overwhelmed the remnants of his negative feelings. One could only be intrigued when they witnessed a man talked to a girl who spoke no word and uttered no sound, and managed to create proper illusion of a discussion. Kang Sunghoon wondered, now, that this sudden turn of event had improved his mental state—that he had since cast aside his lament.

“Maybe stormy weather isn’t as bad as I thought,” he murmured to the raging storm outside as he approached the open door.

* * *

**III: Tempo Impetuoso Destate**

Disembowelled bodies lined up before his very eyes. The faces were no longer there—they were all faceless—but he thought he knew them all. He denied that his hands were red because of them. He denied that he was standing here because he had his hands in cold water. He denied that he had just dropped the rifle to the ground because he had emptied the shells to ensure these faceless people were subdued. He denied that the dagger in his fist was painted scarlet of their blood. He was never a part of this—no, never!

He trembled out of denying rage, but his emotions were twirled cruelly into stone cold horror in a split second as the sky reddened. Clad in murky uniforms and heavy dark boots, the faceless men’s souls were drawn out of the shells. His eyes shook as swirl of mist floated in the air, flowing up where wind’s direction didn’t conduct. At first it was pearly white, shimmering micro beads flying curiously towards dimly lit sky, but then it gradually turned scarlet. His heart pounded harder and faster. He stepped back groggily. He knew it was coming for him. It would. He knew.

“It wasn’t me!” he pathetically screamed. “It wasn’t me! I wasn’t there! I ran away!” He yelled desperately, rejecting strongly that he, too, deserved to taste a simple graze from the unbiased reaper of death.

As fast as he could, he turned and fleetingly escaped. The red mist charged towards him, hungrily. He could hear voices in the mist. A raging storm in the form of visible breath of wind. He dashed wildly through tall trees, into the darkness of forest. His body was heavier than it should. He was upset and frustrated. Fear filled his entire being. He clawed to barks of trees, hoping it would give him a boost of speed. His hands were dirty, but he could not care about it right now. The mist was closing in on him. When he turned around, he saw the mist destroyed everything it touched, drinking life out of plants.

His breath became heavier and his eyes were now blurry. All he knew now that he must keep running, and so he did. Through the darkness, he managed to reach the end of the woods, leaving the moving terror behind. He dropped to his knees, crying out his gratefulness. He covered his face with his palms, shouting into them. A moment afterwards, he realized that he felt cold. His face was cold and stiff, as if something had been applied on its skin. He touched his cheek, noticing hints of liquid stains on it. He looked at his hand. It was red as would clotted blood look. He hyperventilated. It smelled like blood. He couldn’t deny this—it was his own, not other people’s as he denied just a moment ago.

“You can’t run away forever!” the legion of eerie voices attacked his ears. He covered the ears, but it was the least he could do. The red mist arrived, buzzing as loud as thousands of bats. He reacted far too slowly. It got him—finally inside its swirling madness and pure destructive power.

“No! No! No! Don’t kill me!” he shouted desperately.

Tears flowed down his face. He could not bear it—the pain. His skin and flesh forcefully pulled out of their respective place, minced into tiny bits. It burnt. His head was unable to proceed anything. His body moved out of his designated function to survive, crawling forward, attempting to flee once again. His screeching voice didn’t help as his legs disappeared first. The pain engulfed him as a whole, leaving him less than a human. Everything was red. He remembered and saw nothing but red. The twirling mist above him was a crimson spiral and his voice cracked his eardrums—that was all he knew before everything turned pitch black.

*****

“Jaejin- _ah_!” someone called, shaking his body powerfully enough to drag him out of sleep. His eyes snapped open, wide and enveloped by terror. He saw upon waking his old friend, Jaeduk, in his working clothes. His friend’s face was filled with concern and fear. His own mind and body were filled with fear. He was drenched with cold sweat.

“Are you all right?” Jaeduk asked worryingly.

“Did you bring any food?” he asked instead, diverting naturally. Jaeduk sighed, but it wasn’t unexpected.

“Yes, I put it on your table. Eat, okay? I’m going to eat with Sunghoon tonight. Are you really okay, though?”

“It’s just the heat making me crazy. Thanks, Jaeduk- _ah_.”

“But it’s been raining all day,” Jaeduk murmured, but it went unheard.

“I’m hungry.”

Jaejin dismissed his friend just like that, not wanting to talk about his recurring sinister dream. The man did as Jaejin wanted and left the room. He locked the front door with spare key Jaejin purposely gave him. With the state of Jaejin’s mind right now, he wasn’t confident that he would be able live alone. Lee Jaejin was fully aware of this fact, but running away was his only option. He still didn’t want to die, so he trusted Jaeduk and his other friend, Jiyong, to check on him from time to time here.

“I hate this,” he muttered to himself meekly as he swept his eyes through the room.

Paintings of red spirals with black background were scattered all over his bedroom. He shook his head, leaving bed and tossing his shirt away. He splashed cold water to his face, trying to get back his senses. He walked out of his apartment, ignoring the box of food brought by Jaeduk. His mind suddenly was at peace as soon as he heard and saw that it was stormy. He stopped before he went nearer to the outdoor weather.

A man sloppily ran through the storm in yellow raincoat and boots. For some reasons, Jaejin perceived that the man was a drop of sun in the form of somewhat grouchy man amidst cold and grey world. It was a bizarre look as the man did not seem fit to wear such profane standalone colour, yet it fitted.

Jaejin studied the man quietly. He heard the man cursed when he found out the plastic bag he brought caught a splash of muddy water. The man let out a husky sigh once he stood inside the hall. He tipped off the raincoat’s hood, revealing his face. Jaejin had never seen him before. The man urgently peeked into the bag, rummaging with a deep frown. He quickly came into conclusion that it was satisfactory, so he wrapped it up and began to walk to the staircase. He somehow must have felt Jaejin’s stare that he turned his eyes towards Jaejin and met the eyes. He gave Jaejin a questioning look, but he greeted Jaejin anyway with a slight nod. Jaejin returned with slight bow instead, and so it was the first time Jaejin thought yellow wasn’t such a bad colour when worn alone. He quietly thanked the storm and went back inside to eat.


	2. Gnossienne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always sadness in happiness and happiness in sadness. Such grey shades wouldn't be grey if no white was present. Gnossienne: find the meanings as you will.

# Gnossienne

**I: The Bridge of Sadness and Happiness**

There was no light that night in the room, neither was in his heart. Silence had come after hours of wind knocking about from all directions. It was such a comfortable tranquillity, ushering his uneven emotions to a more balanced and warmer space. A cup of freshly brewed coffee, black, was in his hand. He tasted a sip and quietly sighed in delight, the only luxurious gloom-banishing potion he could have right now. He, then, leered at the girl who was now curling up to sleep in his bed. Such fate that forced them to remain close, siblings bounded by bonds more than ones she should feel so with. His heart dampened and so did his room’s poor moisture level. The storm might have passed, yet he felt that the storm remained with him—in fact, never had it left him after all these years. That girl was his storm, such a dangerous beauty he loved and adored.

He casted his stare upwards, at the slightly mouldy ceiling. Madness, wouldn’t it be, that at such time various thoughts attacked him at once when he was now closer to neutral mood? He recalled the days of rays beaming down, kissing his uncaring tanned skin. His hands had a surfboard and a beautiful girl’s hand in them. He was filled completely with happiness. He remembered.

The sea was beckoning. If he wasn’t there, being one with it, he would be by the shore, sitting quietly with his beloved one, listening to summery songs they both were in love with together. Life was perfect. With her, this one girl, his life was perfect. Sea or no sea, summer or winter, rainy or sunny, it didn’t matter back then. As long as he remembered, he had always been in love with her and only her, but then, they were both young and inexperienced. She was perfect in his eyes—and she claimed that he was all she ever dreamt of. The illusion of possessing mutual feelings created between them a bond that craved in him a sign of bliss.

“ _I love this song the most_ ,” she uttered with a lovely sigh.

“ _Me too_ ,” he replied naturally with deep contentment.

But he couldn’t remember the sound of the song anymore now. He could, however, recall clearly how he nervously pushed the velvety box across the mahogany table as they casually dined together. He remembered how she blushed and beamed blindingly. She accepted it readily although they had been apart for years. He remembered her smile, her sweet fragrance, soft body against him. He still remembered how he was deeply in love with her. He was thirty and he was happy, _blissful_.

He _was_.

When he tried to remember what caused his happiness today, he wouldn’t remember her anymore. She, at some point he couldn’t put his finger on, had ceased to be the source of his utmost joy bringer. His innocence disallowed him from acknowledging it at that time—he wouldn’t admit how his feelings had shifted, but he still embraced the fact he cared about someone else more than her. He now would picture the stormy day when he was twenty-three. It was just a day after his birthday and it was meant to be the day he spent with his beloved girlfriend, but his girlfriend brought with her a young girl. He knew he was awkward with kids despite having boyish characteristics himself, so he just smiled rigidly upon their arrival. The girl, however, was grim and quiet. She didn’t return his smile—not because she didn’t want to, Jiwon felt and believed so even now, but because she couldn’t.

“ _My parents adopted her just recently. She has been through a rough patch, but now we will give her good life_ ,” his girlfriend said. “ _Her name is Lee Sooyoung_. _She is mute, but she is smart. From now on, you will meet her often, Jiwon-_ ah.”

He remembered how he was afraid to greet her or touch her, even the tips of her fingers. He was filled with uncertainty as he studied her. The girl was almost ten years old. She wasn’t skinny, neither did she seem fragile, but yet he could not stop thinking that just one little touch she would vanish. Lee Sooyoung stared at him while bowed slightly to him after the simple introduction. Whenever he recalled the stare now, he realized that he had always been able to understand her thoughts. She might not smile, but he saw a hint of smile in her eyes.

“ _I have a feeling that you two will be good friends soon_.”

That very day, too, his girlfriend began to take her time away. She was studying at the university while he was working his arse off because he hated studying. Those were the strangest seven years of his life. He, while focusing on his work, was drawn closer than ever to Lee Sooyoung. The girl never said a word. She sometimes came home from school with bruises, wounds, or dirty clothes. She never came home straight from school. She always came to his workplace. He would put her in his office and brought her a bottle of fresh drink, sometimes flavoured tea.

“ _Lehua-_ yah.”

This was a nickname he chose for her at one point of knowing each other because whenever he saw her, he was reminded of the Hawaiian beloved trees and their blossoms, _lehua_. He remembered too that seeing her as the blossom meant it would be raining every day. His girlfriend, who knew about this nickname and the meaning, told him so.

“ _Why don’t you tell your parents about the bullying? Oppa’s sure that they will move you to a better school_.”

She looked at him. She just said that it was impossible for her to tell them. She didn’t trust them. No one would ever stop bullying her in any school. There was no place for her in schools as long as she wouldn’t speak. It pained him greatly. Then, she said something else. He had mixed feelings upon knowing this. The today him remembered it as the bridge of happiness and sadness.

“ _Lee Sooyoung_ , _don’t ever think about it. Listen, Oppa has no right to take care of you more than this._ ”

It was strange for him to feel incredibly protective and possessive about someone, but whenever he saw Sooyoung, his heart was at ease. When she smiled ever so slightly, his heart was filled with happiness. As she grew older, she was more than capable to survive on her own, but her trust in her adopted family never grew even an inch. She always smiled when he was around, but his girlfriend always said that she never once smiled all this time. Then, he was serving his duty as a man of his country. Two years away from home, scarcely his girlfriend sent him letters, but he cherished every single one. Sooyoung, however, sent him letters every week and he would reply as soon as he read. The girl understood him just the way he understood her speech. He knew that his letters were her only escape from strange world she was forced to live in.

“ _Oppa_ , _why is it so hard to be different? Am I truly different from other people? Why is Eonni treating me as if I were incapable of doing anything on my own? Why do her parents keep telling me that everything’s going to be all right when Oppa and I know well that it won’t? Oppa, when you are married to Eonni, please take me with you._ ”

It was easy to promise her that, and it wasn’t hard to fulfil either. Sooyoung’s sister was more than happy to take her in, assuming that she was more comfortable with her than with her parents. Innocent thoughts she had only caused the more he had not the heart to tell his beloved that Sooyoung just wanted to get away from his in-laws’ pity—that when with only he and his wife, Sooyoung could have just one to deal with, and it was her sister.

Why was it so complicated now? He pondered. It wasn’t as difficult back then, he felt. They were happy together. There were times, however, that only now he found out of place. Times when he fell out of love—his presumed life-long love for his then-wife.

He still remembered vividly that day when he was lying in bed, half-conscious because of high fever. His then-wife was out, getting grocery. He remembered the most beautiful yet saddest voice lulled him to sleep. It was not different from the lulling billows of the ocean he adored the most. That voice brought him memories he had long forgotten—the memories and feelings that had drifted away. Why had he lost them?

“ _If it were possible, Sooyoung must be more than happy to bear the name Eun than Lee. She probably wanted to change her name into Lehua, too._ ” His then-wife spoke to him with a face of stranger that in decades of knowing her, Jiwon had never witnessed it.

“ _Am I not too young to be her father?_ ” He had attempted to choose the gullible path.

“ _In the States, they give the wife their husband’s surname_.”

The sister’s tone was unforgiving and he acknowledged his fault at the moment. However, it wasn’t the beginning of the fall. It was the conclusion. They heard the door was opened and simultaneously they turned. Sooyoung was there, impassively standing at the crack of the door. Jiwon suddenly felt his tongue turn bitter. Before the girl fled from their sight, he saw her eyes boldly exclaim, “ _Being anyone but your sister is much more preferable for me now and forever. I’d be happy if I were to have Jiwon-oppa as family on paper._ ”

“ _Always locks herself in her bedroom, refuses to dine with us, keeps falling behind her studies and attendance at school—no one knows now why we adopted her._ ”

Truly, Eun Jiwon never had any idea what made this family unworthy of Sooyoung’s trust year after year. That moment he did not know the cause—however, the ship sank and his fate approached. Those sad eyes were the last he saw when he left.

Just a moment ago, the melancholic, almost inaudible voice spoke to him. The storm muffled the statement, but he was somehow able to catch every single word. She stood behind him and the chair he was sitting on. Her pale fingers on the wooden surface, gracefully touched it. He could still feel the faint heat she emitted to his back.

“ _Oppa, I have something to confess. The main reason Eonni resented Oppa was me. She saw me by Oppa’s side when Oppa was ill that summer._ ”

“ _Oppa knew, you silly kid. Did you think Oppa is that stupid?_ ” He darkly chuckled. The girl’s cold hand moved to his shoulder, gently squeezing. “ _You did it on purpose, didn’t you?_ ” He was quiet for a moment, then he asked, _“Why do you think they did this to me?_ ”

“ _Because Oppa let that man off—he is considered a traitor. Because Oppa knew about me being adopted into the family. Because they assumed Oppa knew everything about me. Oppa’s presence and influence have become powerful, but Oppa’s innocence and naivety are predicted to be troublesome in the future_.”

He looked into space, digesting the information quietly. It wasn’t a pleasant piece of information to receive, but it was stirring up his emotions. He pulled her hand from his shoulder and grasped it tightly on his chest.

“ _You have something that you haven’t planned to tell anyone even me, don’t you?_ ”

A brief silence, then she replied along with the raging thunderstorm outside:

“ _I will tell Oppa once I find solid evidence to support my thoughts of it_.”

“ _You know Oppa didn’t do it, right? You trust me, right?_ ”

The girl embraced him with both arms from behind. Her soft, yet rage-filled voice firmly replied, “ _Of course. I only trust you in this whole world, Oppa_.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” he said, deeply touched. “ _Oppa will protect you_.”

She smiled.

“ _Regrettably Oppa doesn’t protect me at school_.”

The girl in his mind roused from bed and stared at him, slapping him out of his daydream. Her stare told him that too much thinking of the past would only burden his mind. Then, she told him that he should sleep now because lack of sleep was bad for middle-aged man’s health. Jiwon sat straight and groaned.

“Hey, Oppa’s not middle-aged!” he protested. She grinned mischievously and turned to sleep inside the blanket. Jiwon sighed. “Sleep now. You have to go to school tomorrow, remember. You still have to go.”

But Eun Jiwon wouldn’t tell her that he wished, with all his heart and soul, she didn’t have to go. He knew that it might be best for her not to attend school anymore. He knew it well, but he could not stop encouraging the otherwise. As much as he was happy to have her close with him, he could not deny that he was tormented by fear and grief because he could not protect her as much as he wanted. Not now, especially.

* * *

**II: The Sunny Day outside the Window**

They walked together across the empty street. Chatter wasn’t inevitable, but honestly it wasn’t meant to be avoided. Kang Sunghoon was finally getting a hold of himself back. He brightly beamed during the chat with one of his oldest friends, Kim Jaeduk, who lived in the room located directly under his, next to the upright yet strange Lee Jaejin. He greeted the woman waiting behind the register desk as they came in. People always stared whenever someone arrived, but they only leered when they heard Sunghoon’s or Jaeduk’s voice. The reason behind it had yet to be perceived.

“Order whatever you want, Sunghoon- _ah_ ,” Jaeduk said to the younger man sitting across the table.

Naturally, they chose a table where they could converse with minimum amount of strangers leering at their direction, and it was one of the tables by the window today. While Jaeduk had set his mind on what he wanted to eat—he said, in his strong Busan accent, “I’ve never seen anyone order this meatball dish. It looks tasty, but why no one eats it? I’ll have this meatball dish!”—Sunghoon stared at the menu, a cheap printed poster in pressed plastics, in his hands. He smiled casually and said to the waiter,

“I’ll have the spicy noodles and iced Americano, then.”

“Well, I’ll have the same noodles too,” Jaeduk told the waiter, “Oh, and one iced lemonade for me.”

Once the order was set, the waiter went to proceed, and they were left to wait.

“A stormy day is never easy for everyone,” Jaeduk said. “Are you doing better now?”

“Yes, for now,” Sunghoon replied, eyes fixed on the table.

Jaeduk watched the blond man across him. His ears were clear now that storm had passed. Sunghoon had thanked Jaeduk repeatedly for taking him out of the rusty building, despite it was merely a short walk from there to this small restaurant. They chatted leisurely about many things. Sunghoon admitted that there was a slight hint of uneasiness remained in the pit of his gut, a residue of his fluctuating emotions. If it were a year ago, perhaps, he would not be at ease with Jaeduk because he hated the man’s accent. Today, however, Jaeduk’s strong accent was probably one of things that could snap him out of his void in a split second. Jaeduk saw that now he smiled almost earnestly.

“Weren’t you supposed to work?” asked Jaeduk.

“I called in sick,” Sunghoon replied with a bright smile, surely without any hint of contrition. Jaeduk sighed.

“You can’t do that all the time even though the manager likes you,” he scolded.

“I know, _Hyung_ ,” the blond man said, defending himself so passionately, “But I couldn’t help it. I needed a break today. I wouldn’t be able to function anyway.” He pouted, trying to act cutely. Definitely one of the things about Kang Sunghoon that put Jaeduk off. It was unbearable sometimes—but girls would definitely go crazy about it.

“Because you were too embarrassed after the accidental bust?” jabbed Jaeduk. The younger man giggled—actually giggled—and leaned forward, holding Jaeduk’s hand and subtly begging him not to embarrass him even more than he already had.

“Don’t say that, _Hyung_. I’m still embarrassed about that—even after Suwon told us about the arrival of the new renter today. I was really stupid.”

The handsome guy nervously laughed, half of his expression right now showed his desperation and frustration as well as mortification while the other half was a clear attempt to conceal the formerly mentioned half. He held back his emotional state as the server came with their drinks. Jaeduk shook his head again and was prepared to scold him, but Sunghoon interrupted him.

“Oh, _Hyung_ , that aside, curiosity got me better,” he said.

“Curiosity?”

“That man was speaking with a girl who won’t even make a sound—like, telepathic communication. Right in front of my eyes. It was fascinating.”

“Well, it must be interesting,” Jaeduk said only to humour Sunghoon. He was partially happy that Kang Sunghoon was distracted from his quite fundamental problem, but this was also a peculiarity he found out about the man. He recognized the happy spark in the man’s eyes, blinding glimmer that he first noticed about him a year ago.

“I could no longer remember when was the last time I didn’t think about how much a fool I was to be easily deceived—until today,” Sunghoon said, a dreamy look suddenly floated into view. Jaeduk threw him a discerning stare.

“You should be careful,” warned he.

“I know, _Hyung_ , I know,” interrupted the man, patting Jaeduk’s hand with a wide smile he usually put on for show.

*****

It had been an uneventful couple of years for Kim Jaeduk. Ever since he let go off his dream and accepted the work he could obtain realistically, he had been living moderately happy. This music academy he was working for produced quite good singers, however he was still struggling financially. It was a casually hot summer when he found out about the super cheap apartment in the outskirt of Seoul.

“That’s real cheap, Jaeduk- _ah_ , but are you sure?” Tony asked. This man was the one Jaeduk met in the military camp. They became friends quickly and now they worked together.

“Don’t worry. My friend, Suwon, lives there,” he said. “His parents own the place.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” Tony said, but he seemed to be unconvinced. They passed by the vocal training room number 1 as they talked. Inside the room was a young man, perhaps of Jaeduk’s own age or slightly younger, singing with characteristically sweet voice. What struck Jaeduk the most wasn’t the voice, despite its quality, but the bright smile the man wore as he sang.

“Who’s that?” Jaeduk asked.

“A new student,” Tony replied, “Said to be promoted in near future by some producer—I don’t remember his name. He has a good chance, I’d say.”

“Annoyingly good look and good voice,” Jaeduk said, “I’d want to see how he fares.” He was partly jealous of the young man’s strikingly beautiful smile. Jaeduk was sure that if this man ever made it big, it would be because of his charming face more than anything else.

“You did great,” a pretty girl cheered for the man.

The young man gave her a blinding smile and the girl blushed joyfully. Tony whispered, telling Jaeduk that the girl was the man’s girlfriend. Just with one look, anyone could see how much the man was in love with the girl. Lucky bastard—Jaeduk had thought. He found innumerable irk, though, when he finally was assigned to the aforementioned lucky bastard. The punk didn’t even know how to keep his poise. Jaeduk truly wished kicking a student was allowed.

“That’s not how you do it—don’t slouch!”

Jaeduk found himself yelling at one Kang Sunghoon in the practice room, again. He wasn’t rough—he knew he wasn’t—but his thick accent contributed a lot to the roughness of his normal yelling. Meanwhile he had to admit, reluctantly at first, that Sunghoon had potencies to dance well, he was too far behind (and he wasn’t exactly at the right age to start learning for professional practices, but then again, Jaeduk couldn’t say anything about it because money did the talking here). Jaeduk was an impatient man and Sunghoon was still not used to hearing such strong accent—he was, Jaeduk later found, a man of propriety who wouldn’t allow mistakes. He admired the trait since it was what made Jaeduk stop from requesting Tony to reassign someone else. It might seem miraculous, but after a week of intensive meeting finally Sunghoon grasped the gist of how to work with Jaeduk’s way of training and how to get along with Jaeduk at all. They actually made friends of each other.

“Hawaii is beautiful, _Hyung_. It is really the perfect place to find love,” Sunghoon said happily as they walked through the hall together towards vocal exercise room.

“Don’t brag about your pretty girlfriend now, Sunghoon- _ah_!” protested the bachelor teacher who was merely a year older. Sunghoon laughed innocently. Such sound that reminded one of a sunny day, it annoyed Jaeduk even more than usual.

“I didn’t mean only that, _Hyung_ ,” Sunghoon straightened up to show his seriousness—he was still smiling anyway—and added, “Love as in your passion or the things you want to do for your life. I knew someone from my school in Hawaii. He was older than me, but he was held behind because he skipped classes. He was really cool. I saw him compete in swimming and surfing contests, then I heard and saw him singing and rapping. I thought that moment immediately that I wanted to sing, too.”

“Delinquent who can sing? I’d want to see him,” said Jaeduk, sounding genuinely intrigued since he admitted that he himself was, obviously, sort of a delinquent at school.

“Too bad I don’t remember his name,” Sunghoon said regrettably.

“How could you not remember his name?!” Jaeduk yelled.

“Ah, _Hyung_! It was hard when no one used his Korean name back then. All I knew was his nickname: Matt!” Sunghoon defended his cause firmly.

“Lame name,” Jaeduk commented.

“I know,” Sunghoon agreed passionately. “They just call us as they will!”

“You two go along well, huh,” Tony said as he approached them. The man had some folders in his hands, implying he was running some administrative stuff. Jaeduk and Sunghoon stopped to meet Tony on the spot.

“Tony- _hyung_ , what is it?” Jaeduk asked, eyeing the folders unconsciously.

“Oh, nothing urgent, just some data updating,” Tony said, brushing it off. “Sunghoon- _ssi_ , can you come with me for a minute?”

“Of course,” Sunghoon replied. “See you later, Jaeduk- _hyung_.”

Jaeduk didn’t meet Sunghoon later because he must leave early to pack his things. It was Friday and his moving was scheduled on Saturday morning. Jaeduk had just arrived in front of his apartment building when he saw a familiar face sitting on the park bench. It was Sunghoon’s girlfriend. He had met her every day since he was teaching her boyfriend to dance and he would say that he was quite acquainted, so naturally he intended to greet her. He, however, stopped after a single step. He noticed that she wasn’t alone. She sat with a man he thought was a producer.

“Isn’t that the one promoting Sunghoon?” he mumbled. “They look serious. I shouldn’t bother them, then.” Quickly he decided to skip the greeting and go to attend his own pressing matter after one last look. He didn’t take the distance between the two into account. If he had, he would have foreseen and prevented what would happen in near future.

*****

“Hawaii is a beautiful place,” Sunghoon said out of the blue as they left the restaurant. The sky was clear and stars began to show up. His smile was somehow peaceful despite reminiscing days he had repeatedly stated as unwanted memories.

“Sunghoon- _ah_ , hold yourself together,” warned Jaeduk warily.

“I am holding myself together, _Hyung_!” protested Sunghoon.

“Don’t go ranting again about your Hawaiian seal guy whose real name you don’t even know now,” Jaeduk said pre-emptively. Sunghoon grinned sheepishly and continued without hesitation, his cheesiness level was as unbearably high as expected. Jaeduk cringed prior to the beginning, out of habit.

“The ocean is so blue and the sky, too. Sand between your toes and sunshine kisses your skin. Beautiful girls in bikinis and men with their surfing boards. Wedding parties. Mountains big and scary in the islands. The flowers are so vibrantly colourful. Hawaii is beautiful, _Hyung_!”

“Gather some money and bring me there instead of telling me these, you brat!” Jaeduk said, skipping on his legs, trying to knee the younger man. Sunghoon instinctively slid away and laughed. They resumed their walk with lingering smiles on their faces.

“I know, I know, _Hyung_. I’ll bring you there someday,” Sunghoon said as if he was repeating an old promise.

Jaeduk shook his head, but a thin smile was formed on his lips. He said softly, “It is a stormy place, too, isn’t it?”

Sunghoon scoffed. His voice implied bitterness as he replied with his smile evaporated, gone without a trace:

“Really, _Hyung_ , no place is without a storm.”

* * *

**III: Grey Day**

It was six in the morning. The sky forecasted more bad weather coming up today. Eun Jiwon dressed up demurely, but breakfasted as if it was a halcyon day. He himself wouldn’t be able to cook anything but simple dishes—any egg dishes, certainly. His female guest, however, was more than just capable of cooking. He groaned in immense amazement as soon as he took a bite.

“ _Oppa_ knew it,” he said, “Our Lehua’s cooking is the best.” The compliment wasn’t returned with a shy blush, as in cliché stories featuring a male and a female, but with the other and newer version of cliché: an eye-roll and slightly smug look that would go unnoticed by unfamiliar people’s eyes. Jiwon could merely smile at the turned back. He himself didn’t take praises well, so he could relate with her mild dislike to compliments, especially from particular group of people, namely anyone who wasn’t him.

It was now seven. Jiwon left the apartment while yelled at the girl who was extremely reluctant to leave for school. He waited impatiently by the open door until the aforementioned girl, dressed neatly in common school uniform with a badge that read Lee Sooyoung, dragged her feet out of the flat. Jiwon closed the door and locked it, then he nagged the girl again for a few seconds before grew quiet as they walked down the stairs. The hall was empty and the sky outside was still as grey as it was an hour ago, yet they saw a man doing a series of rope jumping in the garden. Jiwon had seen him yesterday: the onlooker who didn’t bother to conceal his curious stare at Jiwon’s yellow raincoat-clad self. The man was half-naked, but Jiwon sensed the reason he suddenly stopped jumping and skittered to hide wasn't the fact that he was wearing no shirt. Jiwon bowed his head slightly to greet him again despite the curious man had been quite far from them.

“Do you think he is okay? He is the one _Oppa_ saw yesterday,” Jiwon asked his companion. The girl leered at the man before looked back at Jiwon. “ _Oppa_ thought so, too," he said.

They, then, left the man on his own and continued to the main street. There was an empty bus stop not far from where they lived. Too bad it wasn't raining, the girl said through her meddling fingers around her folded umbrella. Jiwon thought of telling her that no rain meant there would be less laundering to do—but he didn't say anything. They waited in silence and quietly went into the bus once it arrived. While Lee Sooyoung’s stop was still far ahead, Jiwon's was no more than five stops. He bid the girl goodbye and didn't wish her a good day at school. She and he knew better than anyone that she wouldn't have such day.

Eun Jiwon had a black bag in his hand. He fixed the tie and straightened his suit just before he stepped in to the office building. He went to the front desk and confirmed his appointment. The lady behind the desk coolly answered that he was required to go up to third floor and wait until he was called. She demanded for his file quietly and then told a passer-by in white uniform with a nametag to bring the file upstairs. Flabbergasted by unkindness level of the receptionist, he surreptitiously went to the lift before she noticed.

“Eun Jiwon- _ssi_ , you may come in now,” the man in the room finally called just ten minutes after his arrival. Apparently there were not many applicants today. Jiwon got up and went as instructed. He, however, froze as soon as he laid his eyes on the interviewer.

“Ko Jiyong?” he murmured. The interviewer, too, was dumbstruck.

“S—sit down, please,” the bespectacled man said, stuttering slightly. Jiwon conquered his shock and sat on the chair across his interviewer. “So, Eun Jiwon- _ssi_ , why do you want to join our company?”

“Well, the company seems to be promising and the location is not too far from where I live, so I think this is the best place to get a job,” said Jiwon without too much thought. The interviewer chuckled, but then he wore a solemn look again.

“Are you sure you want to be our housekeeping staff? I mean, your past experience is notably not suitable for such position.”

“I don’t have anything left to lose. It’s the best position for me now,” firmly Jiwon stated, sensing the interviewer was against him getting the position. The interviewer’s eyes were directed at him with such pitiful and concerned look—he didn’t need it, Jiwon rejected with his own fiery look. “I will work hard. Please hire me,” Jiwon said. This made the interviewer jerked slightly on his seat.

“This is not fair for me, _Hyungnim_ ,” the interviewer suddenly muttered. “I couldn’t possibly let the one who helped me live work as someone who would be told around by other people. You couldn’t possibly expect me to approve this.” He shed his professional cool-headed image and revealed himself to Jiwon as one familiar person.

“If you refuse to do this for me, Jiyong- _ah_ , then _Hyung_ might have had bad decision to help you years ago,” Jiwon countered coldly.

“But, _Hyungnim_ …”

“This is all you can do to help this man now, Ko Jiyong.”

Sadly and reluctantly, the interviewer looked at the file in his hands and took one of the two stamps he had on his right side. He stamped the file and rose to his feet. He walked over to Jiwon and extended a hand.

“Welcome to our company.”

Jiwon smiled as he took the hand and shook it.

“Thank you.”

*****

It wouldn’t be strange anymore for him to find Lee Sooyoung back from school earlier than she should be, but Jiwon was dumbstruck to see her standing in front the slightly opened door of room number 1. He quickly approached her, took her away from the door by the wrist because he did not want her to be involved in anything should anything happen. However, the girl stood still, held her ground and pointed into the room.

“What is it?” he asked urgently. Her eyes just told him to look. Jiwon sighed and, although suspicious, did as she wagered. On the floor, small puddle of red liquid surprised him. He felt as if cold water had just poured down on his back. He pushed the door open.

The room was dark and damp. His nostrils were attacked by smell of fresh oil paints and many other scents that screamed years of male hermit’s den: Damp clothes, sweat, and mostly moss on the walls. He assumed that the red liquid was not what he thought it was, but paint—he would be relieved if it truly was red paint spilled on the floor. _Truly_. Jiwon slapped around the wall near the door, trying to find the lamp switch.

“DON’T TURN THE LIGHTS ON!” A deafening yell stopped him.

There was a man curling at the corner. He was the one screaming the warning. Jiwon couldn’t see who it was, but he knew the man was there and something was off. He heeded the warning and stepped into the room despite limited lighting that he had from the outside. He, then, heard a string of intangible mutterings. Jiwon didn’t know why he bothered to do this, he didn’t even know the man, but he rummaged through his pocket and took out his beads bracelet, the one he usually wore but left in his pocket because that would ruin his look as an interviewee. The man tried to swat him impulsively, but Jiwon was quick to dodge and grab the hand. _It will look like putting talisman paper on a_ Jiangshi, Jiwon thought amusedly. He carefully slid the bracelet into the man’s wrist and promptly released it as he stumbled backwards. The man did stop, frozen.

“It is my fortune bracelet. Hold on to it for now. You look like you need some luck on your side. Don’t forget to lock your door, though,” Jiwon said. He didn’t see it, but the man was staring at him in disbelief. Jiwon quickly turned on his heels and left.

“Come on,” he said to Sooyoung, closing the door behind him. Without discussing it, they began to walk towards the stairs. Jiwon was the only one who did the talking as usual. He sighed and began ranting, “ _Oppa_ can’t believe you leave school this early. What should we do? It’s going to rain so going out probably isn’t a good idea at all. Should play video games? Did you bring your game console?”—The girl shook her head—“Eh, is that so? Too bad, then _Oppa_ will play alone!”

As they slowly left the ground floor, the door of room number one cracked open. Lee Jaejin carefully made his way out. He turned towards the stairs, looking at the pair’s legs that could still be seen for a brief moment before they completely were out of sight. His face was full with puzzled look. Number three’s door was suddenly open and Jaejin quickly went back into his room, locking the door.

“Is that new guy crazy?” the number three’s occupant wondered with flat tone and expressionless judging look. “He talked to himself that loud, he must be out of his mind.” The man sighed as he locked his own door. “Father always agreed to take in troublesome people as tenants. Did he not think of his own son who has to look after them?” he mumbled. Even so, there was no notable change in his face. He stepped out of the building with an umbrella in hand and small backpack on his back.

“Oh, it’s raining already,” he said. A drop of rain did hit him just now. “Why does it have to rain when I have to work?” His continuous neutral grumbling was eventually muffled by the incoming rain. The sky was grey, but not dark enough. He, in between the rain’s pitter patter, forecasted that the rain would last a day.


	3. A Map of the Sky 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three of seven sequences based on Holst's The Planets Suite  
> 1\. Mars: Kim Jaeduk meets the girl who is bullied by the whole school and attempts to help her.  
> 2\. Venus: Ko Jiyong adjusts the girl of his dreams into his pathetic life. Eun Jiwon is cheering from the side.  
> 3\. Mercury: Jang Suwon, who struggles to live his life the way he wants, gets an irresistible offer from a stranger.

#  **A Map of the Sky, the First Part**

**I: Mars, the Bringer of War**

He just stepped out of the cab and saw the building, but he had heavy drumming inside himself as soon as the school came into view. Kim Jaeduk did not see the place as a common private school, as much as it was emphasized so—it still boasted _high quality of education_ , though—he considered it as a brooding mountain he had never been before. It was a battlefield. Although he wouldn’t be there in a long term—he was a mere substitute today who came in place of his dear friend, Tony, who happened to be required for some urgent and more pressing matter on the day he was invited—Jaeduk could not shake the feelings that he might find something he probably would fare better off without.

The school’s building was shiny, well maintained, and luxurious. The students were obviously of the top tier, although he doubted that money had little contribution to the enrolment of these kids. Their uniforms spoke for themselves and the somewhat uniformed template for the female’s makeup was unsettling. Those teenagers had their eyes on him upon his arrival, but it was nothing extraordinary. He knew he had always been a person who stood out too much for his own good, but it was probably because he didn’t look like any of their teachers. Jaeduk ignored it because his intuition had only known troubles.

“Welcome, Kim Jaeduk- _ssi_ ,” said a middle-aged man in grey suit, kindly approaching him and shaking his hand. “I’m the vice principal, Lee Soobin.”

Jaeduk’s initial hypothesis about himself being nothing like the common teachers was proven true. He entered the teachers’ hall and all he saw was, well, prim and proper but dull teachers. They were all considered as what teachers should ever be. Jaeduk? Not so much. His brown denim jacket and skinny jeans were definitely out of their league.

“Thank you for having me, Lee Soobin- _nim_ ,” said Jaeduk.

“Come, I will introduce you to the person in charge,” the vice principal began. “He is now in our dance studio—certainly you have heard that we have standardized studio that is comparable to ones your academy own?”—Jaeduk nodded distractingly—“We encourage our students to pursue their dreams and we help by facilitating them as much as we can. People of the industry as yourself are much admired because many dream to be successful in the industry with their own skills and talents. We asked your colleague to come because the PTA wished the children to experience what it is like to be trained under the Spartan-level of training. On one side, we want them to be more motivated, but on the other side, we want them to see a glimpse of the harsh reality they might have to face should they ever decided to…” The vice principal went on and on about it, and Jaeduk’s mind couldn’t keep up. The walk was unexpectedly long and the conversation (one-sided, actually) continued. Jaeduk must respond politely with a sense of being truly intrigued by the statements in between, lest he wanted to offend the man of power.

“Here we are,” finally the man stopped his informative jabbering and exclaimed. He walked through the open door, and the loud students’ chatter immediately died down. Jaeduk came in right after, marvelled at the view. The studio was indeed nice and fitting for even a professional training. The students, however, weren’t.

“Hello, my name is…” the said person in charge introduced himself to Jaeduk, but for some reasons, Jaeduk couldn’t hear him.

The man was normal, a normal young teacher, probably of his group of age, but a little bit proper than himself. Jaeduk found it curious that he suddenly was unable to hear anything. It wasn’t a part of his old, better-forgotten wound that stopped him from advancing through the career he hoped to achieve. No, this was different.

At the distance, he heard grandeur music, one that made him think of war descending. Perhaps this indeed was a war, but he still couldn’t hear anything. He could only react as normal as he could towards the polite interactions showed by the young teacher who was now introducing him to his class. Jaeduk tried hard not to be too loud and tried his best not to be too rough with his accent, after all this was still Seoul. He couldn’t hear his own voice.

“ _I wish I could trample down this building. Ares, why wouldn’t thee lend thy immense power to this poor servant?_ ”

Jaeduk’s ears became clear once this voice passed. He looked about, observing. Where did it come from? He swore he had heard something—someone—speak. It must be a woman—a girl—with such sorrowful, yet beautiful voice, but no one seemed to be the owner of this voice. Jaeduk just could feel it. Then, who? He wasn’t able to deal with the thought right now, so he cast it aside. He was here to do his job.

*****

Recess arrived just a moment later. Jaeduk could use a good refreshing drink right away. He excused himself and went to get himself a bottle of cool drink from the school snack shop. He was drinking his fresh drink when he saw a girl trip on her own foot and fall onto the pavement. The fall was quite hard, she must have scrapped her knees. He was quickly on his feet and then ran to her to help, but as he did, the students that happened to be around were laughing merrily.

“Look where you are going, dumb-dumb,” a boy said evilly. Jaeduk couldn’t believe his ears as he found the boy couldn’t be one regular bully people saw on TV. He was a normal student, even perhaps a nerd, but he laughed at the girl as bullies would.

“Don’t help her,” a chubby girl said to Jaeduk. “She is not worth your time.” This girl, too, was someone who should be an object of bullying in cliché stories.

“But she just fell. You help someone who falls,” Jaeduk said innocently because it was what he believed. The girl didn’t mind him helping, but right after she was back to her feet, she skittered away without saying a word, leaving Jaeduk dumbstruck.

“Say something, you pig!” someone shouted, throwing an opened can of soda to the girl. She quickly dodged it, but other students caught her by the arms and just poured soda on her head. Jaeduk was mortified.

“Stop! What are you doing?!” he shouted, urgently removing the girl from their clasps. He glared at them. “This is not how students behave!”

“Not answering like a normal human being is not how a student behaves, too!” retaliated one of the students stubbornly. Jaeduk felt his heart clench and his anger rose—but he did remember where he was right now. He swallowed his temper and just walked away from the crowd with the girl.

“What is their problem? So what if someone doesn’t answer? Did they think everyone was born perfect and equal? Are they really students of a prestigious school? If I had known the students were like this, I’d never agree to the invitation,” Jaeduk grumbled angrily through the walk. The girl was incredibly quiet and despite her small stature, she was following Jaeduk’s swift steps without any trouble. She suddenly stopped before they reached the teacher’s hall.

“What?” Jaeduk asked. “We have to tell the teachers.”

The girl looked at him through her wet hair. She had glasses on, but Jaeduk was overwhelmed by her eyes. It felt like he was suddenly drowning in the ocean of emotions. Words and feelings intermingled, surrounding him. He immediately understood that the girl did not speak and it was by choice. She gently pulled her wrist out of Jaeduk’s hand. She bowed slightly and then she left.

“That girl…” Jaeduk mumbled as his eyes caught a more surprising feature of the girl’s. He saw a second shadow was accompanying the girl right by her side.

*****

“I’m done here, _Hyung_ , everything’s good. I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Jaeduk said over the phone. He had just finished all scheduled session for the day. He intended to go straight home after reporting to Tony instead of going back to their academy. The associated teachers thanked him and sent him off a few minutes after his call ended. He was about to get to the bus stop when he spotted the girl from earlier. The girl was sitting quietly at the corner of bus stop’s seat, earphones plugged in. It was still too early for any student to leave school, Jaeduk noticed as he saw the time. Hence, he couldn’t help but feel piqued.

“Hello, sorry about earlier, I didn’t think of your feelings,” Jaeduk said, approaching tactfully. The girl leered at him and briefly Jaeduk saw again what he thought he didn’t see. The second shadow was reacting to him more prevalent than the girl herself, as if it was trying to fill Jaeduk in with literal words that were needed for him to understand her.

“Are you going home now?” Jaeduk carefully asked as he stood near her, still in proper distance. She paused, then she nodded curtly. Just a moment later, Jaeduk’s bus arrived. He stepped forward—but she, too.

“Oh, you take this bus, too?” Jaeduk asked, surprised. The girl just nodded slightly.

“Lee Sooyoung! Lee Sooyoung!” someone called out urgently. Jaeduk turned towards the source of the voice, but the called girl didn’t bother to even spare a glance. It was a boy from the school, probably of same grade judging from his blazer. He was running to them.

“Don’t skip school again,” he said in between his uneven breath as soon as he was at the bus stop. “Come on, let’s go back.” He touched her arm. She turned violently to him, pivoting and effectively pulling her arm out of his grasp. She was glaring hotly at him. The boy was not impressed at all. He became enraged.

“You ungrateful bitch!” he yelled. “I am trying to protect you! Am I not the kindest person at school? I even asked you to be my girlfriend! That way you’d be free from their mistreatments, but what did you do? You turned me down!”

He pointed a finger at her, glared angrily. Lee Sooyoung stood even more straight and firmly held her eyes on his, unwavering. The bus finally stopped in front of them and opened its door. Jaeduk watched warily on the side, pondering on what he should do. However, Lee Sooyoung sharply swivelled on her heels and went into the bus without a single word spoken. The boy kept calling her, furious. Jaeduk didn’t know what else he could do, so he climbed into the bus, too.

“I’m not trying to stick my nose in places I shouldn’t, but does he always do that?” Jaeduck asked as he stood next to Lee Sooyoung’s seat. She sighed and then scooted to the inner seat, giving her previous seat to Jaeduk. Gratefully, Jaeduk complied and politely kept his distance, too. The girl pulled out a note from her pocket. She began to scribble on it.

“ _He only sees me as a possible access to my family’s assets, but he disregards me all the same. You can’t possibly imagine how it’s like to be pitied by a vile creature as himself._ ”

Jaeduk chuckled. He said, “Are you really not able to speak? Not that I would resent you for it—each to their own!” The girl slightly shifted her gaze.

“ _I know—I can see that you won’t. You might be silly, but you are not unkind_ ,” she said through her scribbles. Her handwriting was noticeably nice, but not exactly neat and clean as Jaeduk imagined. It was quite, how to say it? Artsy, wasn’t it?

“How did you know I am silly? I’m a teacher!” Jaeduk said, playing offended.

“ _Your accent is still too strong_ ,” she pointed it out.

“It’s not something I can separate from myself.”

“ _It would be fun to hear you sing_ — _no, rap. Some charismatic, masculine rap_. _I’d wager that I’d laugh_.” Jaeduk looked at her, surprised. Where did it come from, he wouldn’t know, but it was tempting. He did some rapping back then—she couldn’t know, she was too young and his days were too far back for her to know.

“ _I know you. You were involved in a big accident and then forced to leave the stage because of your injuries that would not fully heal for a lifetime. I know—people talked._ ”

Jaeduk looked down to his fists on the lap. He should have noticed. It wasn’t a secret to begin with, but it would be nice not to be constantly reminded. He began to replay all scenes happened back then. Behind the pretence of propriety and politeness, they had smiled and kindly spoke to him—everyone seemed to be nice to him—but he saw, he knew he did, how they looked down at him. Everyone, even the awkward young teacher who posed as a good junior in front of him, did it.

“Thank you for pointing it out,” Jaeduk grimly said. The girl chuckled darkly.

“ _Why else did you think I even bothered to communicate with you? We’re on the same boat. You’ve had it rough_ ,” she showed her notes. Jaeduk could only sigh.

“Why else—of course.”—Jaeduk laughed—“I’d sing a rap verse for you if we weren’t in a bus right now.” The girl widened her eyes and raised her eyebrows briefly, then quickly wrote down on her notes.

“ _Why not? Come on_.”

“No way.”

“ _I’ll forgive you for dragging me earlier if you sing_ ,” she pressed. Jaeduk realized that she hadn’t said anything about forgiving him for that incident and immediately he knew she was winning. He ended up singing a good half of his favourite song from the 90s shamelessly. She didn’t laugh—she chuckled, deeply amused yet repressing her expressions.

“You said you’d laugh,” protested Jaeduk. He noticed how far she had changed her gaze to him since the beginning of their encounter. It was much softer and almost too familiar. The second shadow was even kinder.

“ _I did_.”

“That wasn’t laughing!”

“ _It was_.”

Her eyes suddenly were alerted. She grabbed her belongings and urgently made Jaeduk to give her room to leave. Then, Jaeduk realized the next stop would be his stop, too. He took his bag and left his seat. She quizzically looked at him.

“The next stop is mine.”

“ _Let me guess, you are number five by the stairs_ ,” she wrote quickly despite being dragged by motion of braking bus. Jaeduk’s guess about this twist of fate was obvious. Number six.

* * *

**II: Venus, the Bringer of Peace**

It was not his fault that spring had come to him that faithful day—a snowy day last winter. He had been working so hard ever since he decided to be independent and failures were sticking up close to him this far. It was fate that brought them together in the form of mutual acquaintance.

He remembered it like yesterday. Her hair was as dark as nurtured earth, her eyes sparkled with brilliance and confidence, and her smile was unmatched. Once he thought it was Venus ascended in a pearly, gigantic shell. More than anything, he hoped to speak with her. People around them were speaking, talking, living—but his focus remained on her. In his peripheral, there was only her. Such prominence, he could not remember what clothes she was wearing or what jokes she was laughing at, but he recalled how her cheerful, yet polite laughter was incited. He was beyond pining now. Yet, he was apprehensive about himself. She was born and raised to be the most beautiful and strongest woman by a family that knew how to produce a high-end offspring.

“I don’t mind,” she said calmly, replying to his proposition to meet again.

“I am not yet successful right now—” he attempted to explain, but she cut him off.

“ _Oppa_ , I said I don’t mind,” she said firmer, yet her lips were curved upwards. “I feel that our feelings are mutual. I want to know more about you, too.” She was bold and endearing. She rode her own car.

“I’m sorry,” he had said.

“We live in our own time, _Oppa_. Next time, the table will be turned—who knows?” she wisely calmed him. It was a brief moment before their first kiss.

“Oh, is that your new girlfriend?”

Jiyong’s daydreaming was cut short by the mischievous and elusive Eun Jiwon’s appearance. The man was leaning on to his cleaning trolley, smirking knowingly. Ko Jiyong did not mean to stare at the woman he was seeing—she had just finished talking to the receptionist, most likely to leave a message to the doctor whose office was also in this building—but he could not help it. She was captivating.

“What are you saying, _Hyungnim_?” Jiyong said, denying. He turned away and pretended to be uncaring as he began to march away from the elevator’s door. He punched the up button and waited nervously. Jiwon pestered him like a child with a newfound toy.

“Come on, I’ve seen her drop by twice. It can’t be anyone else,” Jiwon said. “Won’t you tell _Hyung_ about this girl? If Jiyongie likes her, she must be quite a gal, huh?” Jiyong knew he wouldn’t win right now unless he pulled out a black card—he would probably feel sick himself if he dared to pull that card, though, so he succumbed.

“It’s… complicated,” Jiyong replied along with the arriving elevator. He stepped in immediately, Jiwon followed closely behind. Since Jiwon’s cleaning set was enormous, it could only fit the two of them.

“What do you mean it’s complicated? You two look so in love with each other,” Jiwon said with a hint of irritation and sadness that he tried hard not to show. Jiyong saw it anyway. Jiwon sighed. “It must be nice, but you have to be careful. _Hyung_ can’t always be there if the blockheads sniff you out again and drag you by the heels.”

“I know,” Jiyong agreed readily, sighing. “She comes from a good family, _Hyung_. I still don’t know why she won’t resent me for my financial situation right now—that and what _Hyung_ just mentioned now.” Jiyong thought of the previous occasion in which he was close to run into a certain familiar face he’d rather never see for the remaining of his life. He was able to take a detour and completely avoid the unwanted meeting because he had memorised all the alternative routes to his destination. It was really hard sometimes.

“Well, she is probably the rare gem that sees through your current self,” Jiwon said, unexpectedly wise. “You went to America and stayed for years there, but you met her here. If that’s not fate, I don’t know what is.” Jiyong had many things to say about fate—and Jiwon would probably kick him for it if he dared to mention any.

“I have worries about my past. She wouldn’t want me anymore if she knew.”

“Tell her,” Jiwon boldly told him.

“What do you mean ‘tell her’, _Hyung_? I know you are crazy, but this is beyond your normal craziness, _Hyung_!” Jiyong protested, unable to believe what the older had just suggested bluntly. Jiwon was solemn. He meant what he said.

“If she is really worth it, she won’t mind,” Jiwon stated. Jiyong could not say anything against it for now. There was bitterness that followed the statement and Jiyong knew where it stemmed from.

“But, _Hyung_ , really. All I wanted to do was build my new life, but they found out quickly. They could not bring me down the dirty path because I had firm law barrier—so they just trampled my business via economic murders. My life will always be stuck here,” Jiyong said. A moment later, they arrived at the destination floor.

“At least you have a pretty nice position here,” Jiwon said, struggling with his trolley. Jiyong ended up lending him a help before the elevator door shut again.

“ _Hyung_ could get a better position elsewhere,” Jiyong argued. If it hadn’t been obvious enough, Jiyong would point it out even more bluntly that he was still not accepting the fact that Jiwon was a janitor.

“No,” Jiwon simply answered. He eventually managed to get the trolley back in the corridor, out of the elevator. Jiyong stepped outside, eyeing him curiously.

“That’s nonsense,” he disagreed strongly. “ _Hyung_ , you know that you could work anywhere even in this condition. There are many people on your side.”

“Yes. Fairly enough, if you have your doubts about telling your future children’s mother things of your past, _Hyung_ also has reasons not to take chances and accept this menial job. You know, my ex-Venus is not the bringer of peace,” Jiwon bitterly told him. Jiyong felt deeply pricked by the commentary, but he kept his lips sealed anyway. The cleaning service man shrugged and sped up with his cleaning set, ahead of Jiyong. He gave the younger man an encouraging look. “I hope yours is, though.”

*****

Not that he didn’t understand what it meant to bravely face his attraction to someone and have it returned, no, Ko Jiyong was fully aware of the consequences. He wouldn’t, however, want his romantic interest to know the truth through the grapevine. It was the worst way to find out—well, technically, there were several ways that might be worse than this, but still, he would prefer it didn’t happen like this. She was not amused, to say the least. Heo Yangim was sitting across the table, eyes hardened with determination. This was supposed to be a heartfelt lunch date at their favourite restaurant. _Supposed to be_.

“Is it true?” she asked, breaking the thin ice shield that had been enveloping them since they began to sit. She had just started the topic a while ago as soon as they took their seats and ever since, there was only silence until this very moment. Jiyong fidgeted on his seat, realizing the situation might turn out worse if he were to lie.

“I was waiting to tell you at the right moment, but I guess I’ll just have to be honest with you now,” Jiyong started. He stared down to his lap, regretting his lack of tact before. He should have told her before. The woman shifted forward and put her hands on the table.

“I can’t believe it,” she whispered. Albeit gentle, her voice was fuelled with anger.

“I am sorry—…”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me since the beginning,” she interrupted. “It doesn’t matter for me that you were once working for a black organization or some nonsensical thing like that. I don’t care, really, but keeping this from me is unacceptable.”

“Ah, I guess it’s a given. I was just… not sure about how you would react to this,” said Jiyong, heart sunken to the abysmal depth inside of him. “So, is it goodbye now?”

“You are as silly as you usually are today,” Yangim said sardonically.

A loud noise interrupted their conversation. They turned towards the door. Two huge blokes entered the café without any trepidation. They strode across the hall and slammed their hands on the cashier’s desk. Even Jiyong and Yangim, who were sitting the farthest from there, could hear clearly what the blokes say. They wanted money— _protection money_.

“Let’s get out from here,” Jiyong said urgently, gathering his belongings. It might not be anyone familiar to ones in his memories, but Jiyong would forever be grateful if they weren’t caught up in the scene, however it would turn out to be.

“But isn’t it going to be more dangerous if we leave now?” the woman reasonably asked. Jiyong shook his head and reached over to her, assuring her that it was for the best. He led them to the back door he happened to “guess correctly” where it was and where it would take them to. The couple reached Yangim’s car in no time without any unwanted occurrence, but before Jiyong was able to get into the passenger’s seat, he was pulled backwards.

“Yangim, I can’t believe my eyes!”

A man in dark suit threw Jiyong away from the car. He took the supposedly Jiyong’s seat instead right after Jiyong hit the ground, baffled. There was another person with him and that person was kicking Ko Jiyong mercilessly.

“Oh my, stop! Stop! Stop kicking him!” Yangim cried. She intended to step out of the car, but the person sitting next to her firmly kept her there.

“You are not going to help the bastard, Miss. This is your father’s order,” he said.

“Then, stop now!” Yangim pressed, “If he doesn’t stop, I’ll step out of this car right now and I swear to God I’m not going back home ever again.” She glared at the man. Jiyong, who was unable to do anything but accepting his fate, felt that he was truly unworthy of his feeling for her. Suddenly he understood what Jiwon had said earlier.

“All right, all right, stop and get in,” the man commanded the bruiser. The beating ended with a square kick on Jiyong’s face.

“Don’t ever get near our Yangim again or we’ll kill you,” he said as final statement before leaving. “We were looking for you everywhere, Miss. This dipshit isn’t for you. He’s a cancer cell in our society.” How flattering, Jiyong thought sarcastically. The car left shortly after, but Jiyong didn’t move an inch from where he was lying miserably since the beginning. A shadow hovered over him.

“You beaten up again?!” a familiar voice questioned in disbelief.

“Told you she is out of my league, _Hyungnim_ ,” Jiyong answered without opening his eyes. He knew the man’s voice anywhere. The man exhaled a puff of smoke and sighed. He put out his cigarette, and then he offered a hand to help Jiyong back to his feet. Staggering, Jiyong walked away from the parking lot with Jiwon, who had just finished his work—he assumed.

“Did you know someone beat up those thugs earlier?” Jiwon asked in attempt of humouring the situation.

“Really? I should have stayed to watch, then,” Jiyong stated flatly, dusted his suit.

“Your jokes always fall flat, Jiyong- _ah_ ,” the older man jabbed with a boyish grin.

“You suddenly become an adult—what did happen?” Jiyong jabbed. Normally, he reminisced, Jiwon would shoot up some protests about he had always been an adult or something alike, but today’s Jiwon only smiled and kept his lips sealed. They went to the bus stop and waited for the next arrival in ease.

“Some people talked,” Jiyong started out of the blue. “She was told by her colleagues and she asked for confirmation just now.”

“So,” Jiwon responded, “how is going, then? Are you two still going out or is it over?”

“I’m not sure about it,” Jiyong said quietly.

“If she ditched you because of it, then it would be for the best. You are still on the hunt right now. It’s safer for her not to associate herself directly with you,” wisely Jiwon said.

Jiyong nodded readily, agreeing without a slight of doubt, “Yes, probably it is for the best, as you said.”

However, when they arrived at their shabby apartment, Jiyong stopped abruptly at the sight of familiar pale blue Corolla in front of the building. Before Jiwon could ask the reason of his sudden halt, a woman appeared from the driver’s seat. She was trying hard to hide her smile as she waited for the men to be closer to her location. She folded her arms.

“Took you long enough, _Oppa_ ,” she greeted, “I was about to leave.”

“But why are you here?” Jiyong asked, baffled. She rolled her eyes.

“Isn’t it obvious, Jiyongie?” Jiwon took it upon himself to represent Yangim’s mind. He patted Jiyong’s back and made his leave as cool as it could be, saying, “You’re supposed to be the brainy one here. Read the situation, Ko Jiyong.”

“Well, for someone who was said as a child trapped in an adult body, he’s extremely skilled in reading the situation, isn’t he?” Yangim remarked, amused. Jiyong smiled awkwardly, completely taken by the turn of events. Seeing that he had yet to catch up with the intended point, the woman sighed loudly and shook her head.

“Are you going to give up on me just because you were threatened?” she asked.

“No, but I was thinking that it would be better if I stayed away from you,” Jiyong admitted regrettably. “There are some people who are still after me—not just your father’s people, for the record.”

“We are not going to go down the cliché in heroic storyline, Ko Jiyong- _ssi_. Realistically, a woman like me wouldn’t even bat an eye when meeting a man of your social status, but I choose to be here. Are you seriously going to let me go and regret it all your life?” calmly Yangim refused. Jiyong’s heart throbbed so badly as he saw, heard her. She was beautiful and he was terribly hooked to the dream of holding her in his arms.

“Let’s live happily.”

The sentence came off choppy and cheesier than anything he had ever imagined. He didn’t plan to say it, especially not in this condition—how unromantic and, possibly, unfavourable. He regretted it immediately when he saw the woman shocked by the sentence, as if she was electrocuted.

“Sorry, but did you just…”—Yangim gasped, her cheeks flushed visibly—“… _Oppa_ , did you just propose?”

“…I guess so.” Jiyong was unable to hide his own flustered self.

“This is not I imagined how I would be proposed by a man,” Yangim said, but she was smiling brightly.

“Isn’t this an interesting turn of event? _Hyung_ hasn’t even given you 100 won for your 100 th day yet, Jiyong- _ah_ , and suddenly you are about to get married,” Jiwon shouted happily from the balcony. It turned out that he had been watching everything from there since he left earlier.

“Ah, _Hyung_! I thought you left!” Jiyong protested.

Ignoring Jiyong, Jiwon directed his words to the woman standing next to the tall junior of his, “Congratulations, sister-in-law.”

“Thank you, Eun Jiwon- _ssi_ ,” Yangim replied happily. Jiyong laughed in embarrassment, pulling Yangim away to stop her from talking further with the problematic stubborn man before they began an unwanted alliance.

“You can call me _ajubeonim_ or _oppa_ if you want,” Jiwon said mischievously.

“That’s it. _Hyung_ , you are not going to be the brother-in-law and you, honey,” Jiyong concluded firmly, “You must go home now.”

“Why? We could have dinner together in your room—we should ask Jiwon- _oppa_ to join us, too. I’ll fix us some good food!”

“Come up, then,” Jiwon said readily, pointing at the door number eight. “Here’s Jiyong’s room!”

Jiyong briefly reconsidered the meaning of peace as he helplessly witnessed Jiwon successfully attracted the woman of his dreams. Jiwon’s neutral attitude to women was the most lethal aspect of his, naturally making females comfortable with him. It applied to males as well, though. He, again, sighed, but he followed Yangim anyway to the stairs, to his apartment room. For the best or worse, it might be as troublesome as dealing with the real Venus in the myths.

* * *

**III: Mercury, the Winged Messenger**

Such a serene morning, usual morning. Perhaps. Jang Suwon woke up with a start naturally. A boisterous voice from outside the door was clicking into his half-awake nerves’ end. He didn’t recognise it and he wished he would never need to. He yawned and tried his best to ignore whoever made the laugh—it had suddenly stopped thankfully. He leered at his alarm clock—it hadn’t rung yet. He was earlier than his alarm. That was quite a feat, he would say proudly. However, there had been three messages and four missed calls greeted him on his phone the moment he unlocked it.

He rose and hurriedly picked up his pace. He washed up as fast as possible and frantically ran out of the bathroom right after. He took whatever he could see and reach within a second. Being fashionable wasn’t in his job description anyway. Trousers up, shirt done, jacket on, socks on, wallet in, bag worn, a cap complemented, and lastly the phone in his pocket. He hopped towards the door only to realize he hadn’t had the keys in his hands. Quickly, he searched for the keys that apparently he didn’t leave at their respective place by the door last night. He rummaged through dirty clothes on the floor and in the pile of laundry until he finally was able to find the set of keys.

Suwon paused as he heard a rowdy voice pass by his door. It was unfamiliar—he could only assume that it must be the new tenant. In his head, he mapped the remaining tenants’ voices. Sunghoon had annoyingly sweet voice he’d rather not to hear first thing in the morning. Jaeduk had Busan accent that was so strong any Seoul citizen would be hammered the first time hearing him talk. Jiyong had a quiet voice that was at the same time charming and irritating. Jaejin might have the loudest mouth in the house, but he didn’t talk that much, especially not alone and not in front of Suwon’s door. He opened the door only after whatever—whoever—made the voice leave far enough.

He briefly caught a glimpse of people going upstairs. He immediately concluded that it must be the new tenant. What was his name again? Eun Jiwon? He groaned inwardly. It definitely didn’t show in his face because he was a goddamn good actor—he kept telling himself about it.

“Is that new guy crazy?” Jang Suwon wondered with flat tone and expressionless judging look. “He talked to himself that loud, he must be out of his mind.” He sighed, locking his own door. “Father always agreed to take in troublesome people as tenants. Did he not think of his own son who has to look after them?” he mumbled.

There was nothing he could do anyway. If he had told his father about it, his father would yell and curse at him, accusing him as a know-it-all, good-for-nothing son who had no qualms about his terrible _acting career_ that only existed in his dreams. Just thinking about the probability boiled Jang Suwon’s blood. Even so, there was no notable change in his face. He stepped out of the building with an umbrella in hand and small backpack on his back.

“Oh, it’s raining already,” he said. A drop of rain did hit him just now. “Why does it have to rain when I have to work?” His continuous neutral grumbling was eventually muffled by the incoming rain. The sky was grey, but not dark enough. He, in between the rain’s pitter patter, forecasted that the rain would last a day. He hated rainy days, and he hated them more if they came when he was about to leave for work.

Suwon had never had a dream before. He knew he didn’t cut for anything when he was young. He couldn’t sing. He couldn’t dance. He had no talent in expressing feelings. His whole life was built around his father’s incessant talks of being a property owner and his mother’s lifelong dream of owning a family restaurant. His third grade summer vacation assignment explained that he wanted to inherit his father’s building and get money without doing anything. That was until he accidentally fell in love with the world of acting. He still sucked, of course, and gained very little amount of money from it, but he wanted to do it.

“Suwon- _ah_ , you’re late,” a slightly older man greeted him, promptly dragging him as soon as he was within the arm reach. This was Suwon’s employer, Heejun. He owned the place and ran it, but most of times, he only provided the place as a meeting point for, well, people with needs of secrecy. It was quite good for both sides, but sometimes Suwon was left with bad taste in his tongue afterwards.

“Our theatre still has no job for you, but fortunately, we have other jobs ready. Come on, quick, I have someone for you to meet.” Suwon had barely any time to register when he was suddenly brought out of the backstage. There was a man sitting at the front row of the theatre, chatting cheerfully with the dubious, yet successful junior of his, Junsu.

The man looked like a normal man in his late thirties. He wore ragged bomber jacket and old jeans combined with a pair of dirty sneakers. He caught Suwon in his eyes immediately and grinned at the arrival. Everything about him screamed suspicious man, but Suwon wasn’t bothered by it.

“Here is Jang Suwon I was talking about earlier, sir,” Heejun said, introducing the awkward younger man to the stranger. The man stood up and initiated a handshake. Suwon wasn’t in any position to refuse.

“He’ll be good in this business,” the man said. His voice gave off an unpleasant vibe, unnecessarily making one’s auditory sense tingle the remaining body’s senses for extra precautions. He grinned again and introduced himself, “I’m Kim Tamjo.”

Suwon’s mind paced with the second-hand of time. There were many things he didn’t like about the man in seconds they had just met and exchanged words of courtesy. However, as a fool, he also sensed that he couldn’t turn him down. Heejun, then, irresponsibly left him with Kim Tamjo, taking Junsu along. Suwon was tortured mentally—perhaps it was just him and the man didn’t even realize what he was doing to him—as the man laid down everything he had in mind for future partnership.

“Particularly,” he said—this was the only part where Suwon was fully paying attention to—“if you ever run into this girl or her twin sister, you must tell me immediately. There has been prepared an amount of money to their discovery and delivery. Such amount that would allow a peasant enjoy a life in the land of businessmen.” Suwon didn’t care about the land he was implying, but the money, Suwon wouldn’t lie. Kim Tamjo slid a picture of a young girl, perhaps ten or eleven.

“You said twins,” Suwon pointed out.

“They are _twins_ ,” the man snorted, “Like you could tell the difference between them.” Suwon’s eyebrows went up— _he was right_ —feeling a bit stupid right now. He took the photo and held it closer to his eyes.

“She is not particularly attractive or anything,” said Suwon flatly.

“That’s not why they are for,” Kim Tamjo acerbically retorted. “They have _talents_. Real talents. Unlike you poor peeps, who lurk in the shadows for alms, any of these twins will certainly be at the top in no time.”—He lit a cigarette and puffed the smoke on Suwon’s face to humiliate him further—“Listen, kid, I mean it when I mentioned the money. So, you have to think carefully about it when you see any of them. It’s no fraud.”

Suwon deliberately thought about it even though he was obviously holding grudge against this man already. He did.

“And one more thing, that picture was taken about ten years ago. You’d probably want to seek for a teenager.”

“How on earth I would be able to recognize them?” Suwon threw the picture to the man’s face in rage.

“You will—it is easy.”

It was almost surreal when the man didn’t get angry over Suwon’s attitude. He showed his greasy smile and took the picture into his hand. He tapped a finger on the girl’s face, around the eyes.

“This one is Roi Jimin, she talks. You will know when you hear her speak. It sounds heavenly. Her sister, Roi Jiwon, doesn’t talk. You will know as soon as you see her, though. Her eyes are super scary. The price is the same, but the approach to each of them is different. I believe they could not be living together right now, but if chances allowed, it’d be best to have them both at once.”

“You’re sick,” Suwon remarked. Kim Tamjo laughed.

“But you took my message.”

Suwon felt bitter taste in his tongue as he left the man. It was a bizarre conversation and Heejun was more than hyped to hear all about it. He told the employer, of course, everything. Heejun showed a concerned look and all the overseers shared a matching worried face. Suwon hindered his feelings and threw them aside. As he had said in conclusion of his report to Heejun about the new job, he was unfazed.

“I will do it and you will not do anything against me, right, _Hyungnim_?”

“Of course, of course!” Heejun’s loud and cheerful voice rang out as an unofficial warning to all who heard him. Suwon smiled thinly before excused himself.

When he later dined with his parents, his father was once again pointing out at his miserable self for sticking with a poor theatre owner. He said Suwon was better off selling organs or doing illegal plastic surgery for dumb girls instead. His mother said that doing illegal surgeries wasn’t going to help much, but providing a place for the operation would. Suwon sat there idly and pretended that he cared about whatever his parents said about him and his possible future. Suwon thought if it was legal to kill your parents for being annoying.

*****

It was a nice afternoon and Suwon didn’t have to be indolently waiting in his usual working place today, so he came home instead right from his parents’ house two blocks away from the rundown apartment building. He spotted Jaeduk from afar, getting off the bus as usual. He immediately thought he could have a good time drinking with an old friend to chase away the lingering bad taste from listening to his parents last night. However, he stopped the thought as soon as he saw a girl hopped off the bus behind Jaeduk.

“A girl? A student? Since when Jaeduk- _hyung_ brought a student home?” he muttered. The girl turned slightly to his direction. Suwon suddenly felt all his nerves were violated and he was unable to function temporarily just from receiving the glimpse of stare. The student didn’t seem to have spotted him, but the stare was something else. There was definitely something about the girl—and, in a split second, Suwon realized that he was _this_ close to being a millionaire.


	4. Map of the Sky 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IV: Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity: in which Jaejin found that the weird neighbour swam in a pond and a trickle of hope came for him that day.  
> V: Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age: in which Jiwon thought of his old days and the very person who turned everything sour suddenly came to visit him.  
> VI: Uranus, the Magician: in which Sunghoon lost his footing again, but was brought back magically by his favourite song.  
> VII: Neptune, the Mystic: in which Jiwon and Sooyoung went to the sea, ran into Jaejin who impulsively was tempted to drown himself in the sea, Jaeduk who suffered pain in silence, Sunghoon who was reckless enough to claim that he was swimming, Jiyong who was actually on a date, and Suwon who was quite suspicious for unknown reasons.

# IV: Jupiter, the Bringer of Jollity

There wasn’t enough reason for a person to be happy when he was confined inside a void made out of his own regret. Jaejin believed strongly that denying would give people he loved peace. Today, he woke up groggily at six and began his routine outside. He was addicted to sport. Whenever he felt uneasy, he moved—skipped, danced, it did not matter. It was another supposedly day off, but Jaejin no longer needed to know because all days were holidays for him now. Work all day, rest all day. His heart thrummed as he pumped his blood by doing jumping jacks. He wouldn’t think that anyone in the apartment building had woke up aside from him, but he heard some noises coming from behind the trees. It couldn’t be dangerous people, could it? Jaejin was quite naïve, but he was more curious than afraid right now. He stopped his exercise and tiptoed towards the sound. As he approached, he was flabbergasted.

A man was swimming vigorously in the pond—a pond he had known been there for decades and abandoned. He moved freely inside, going around marvellously with joy infused his veins. The sun’s bright shining added the jollity of the spectacle. Jaejin failed to understand, but, lo, it was fun to see him swim there. He, too, saw that there was a girl at the edge, sitting and laughing merrily at the antics done by the man.

“Won’t you swim with _Oppa_ here? It’s nice,” the main man said loudly as he swam gracefully towards the girl. Jaejin didn’t know what the girl said—he didn’t hear anything—but the man obviously shrugged off and swam back in without any trouble. Jaejin wanted, direly, to point out that the pond wasn’t for swimming. That it was dirty and full with germs and other things. Jaejin wanted it so much that he turned red. However, at the same time, he enjoyed watching someone having fun. It had been years, he thought, since he let himself be entertained like this. Why? It simply was because he had been through many things, things he’d rather not remember again.

“Oh, you, are you going to join us?” the man suddenly asked as he noticed Jaejin standing not far from there. _This is bad_ , Jaejin thought, but something in him was triggered.

“There’s no way I would!” he loudly declined.

“Oh, he talks!” laughed the man. Jaejin mumbled that of course he talked. The man climbed out of the pond and sat on the grassy ground. He actually wore a wetsuit. Jaejin here thought he was the only person who was weird. The girl looked at him intensively and then she raised a sketchbook with writings on the page that read:

“ _You’re wearing the bracelet_.”

Jaejin instinctively reached to the bracelet he had on his right wrist. It felt like a safe charm, giving him tiny bit light in the darkness he was trapped within. Small it might be, but it was enough to make him stop thinking about bad dreams he still had days and nights. The man, who had slipped the bracelet into his wrist, seemed not to even care if Jaejin did or didn’t wear the charm, as he put it. The girl smiled—Jaejin might have thought that he was imagining things if not for the fact the man was smiling at her as in respond to her brief smile—and for a moment, it felt that Jaejin finally remembered how to feel alive.

“I wear it because I feel like it is protecting me,” Jaejin blurted out. The man grinned and stood up slowly like an old man, dusting his hands and approaching Jaejin with caution. He held out a hand and said,

“I’m Eun Jiwon, room six. I’m sorry we broke into your room back then, but our Sooyoung here was worried about you,” he said, introducing himself and indirectly the girl behind him. He pointed his thumb over his shoulder when he mentioned the girl’s name. Jaejin shifted his eyes to the girl, who only nodded slightly to the subtle introductory mention of her. Jaejin nodded awkwardly to her.

“I… my name is Lee Jaejin,” he finally said to the man—Eun Jiwon—as he took the hand and shook it albeit reluctantly. Jaejin just realized that the man was of his height and his shoulders were wide. His hands also were bigger than he initially thought. Jaejin picked up these details automatically ever since he got into painting, but sometimes he wished he wouldn’t pay any attention to those insignificant details. He would prefer to feel how rough the man’s hand was and how cool it was since it had been in the waters just a little while ago—but Jaejin couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” another voice interrupted them. It came from behind Jaejin. They all turned to see who it was. Jaejin jerked away from Eun Jiwon and ran for his life, contradicting his previous statement: submerging in the dirty pond.

*****

“Ah, I’m sorry,” the person spoke again. She was a woman with tanned skin, dark hair, and overall an attractive young woman. Jiwon wondered what made the guy up and jump like that, but he stepped towards the woman with Sooyoung trailing close to him.

“It’s okay, can we help you?” Jiwon asked. The woman smiled sheepishly, shyly holding out her hand.

“I’m Lee Eunju—do you live in the apartment, too?” she asked. Jiwon cordially shook her hand and nodded.

“Eun Jiwon, and this is Sooyoung—sorry, she doesn’t talk to strangers,” said he, pointing at the cautious girl behind him. Lee Eunju smiled at Sooyoung despite the latter just stared without any visible response to her greeting. They retracted their hands. Jiwon, then, bluntly asked, “So, what’s your relationship with that guy who has just jumped into the pond?” The woman sighed sadly.

“He’s my older brother. He has been avoiding me and the family for a while, so could you give him this on my behalf?” she requested, politely holding out a wrapped box. Jiwon stared at the box sceptically.

“We’re not well acquainted yet, though,” Jiwon said wisely.

“I would ask Ko Jiyong- _ssi_ or Jaeduk- _oppa_ if they were here, but I couldn’t help but feel that my brother could do better with more friends on his side. This will somehow force you into his circle,” she said, enigmatically. Jiwon blinked.

“Why would I be forced to be his friend?” he asked, somewhat offended. “I’ll be his friend, okay—but first tell me what year he was born.” Lee Eunju was startled, but she looked happy with the turn of event. She whispered the year into Jiwon’s ear. Jiwon grinned like a boy.

“That just makes everything easier then,” he declared. “I’m older than him!”

“Oh, that’s great—he has no one older than himself around.” The little sister’s smile had just grown brighter. “We don’t know what made him close himself away from us like this, but I believe that someday he will come and see us.” Jiwon had no other choice than to accept the box now—but his eyes noticed something else.

“Lee Eunju- _ssi_ , sorry, but are you pregnant?” he asked tentatively.

“Yes,” she softly replied, her hand automatically rubbed the visible bump under her long shirt. “I wanted to tell my brother about it.”

“Congratulations,” Jiwon said sincerely. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“We haven’t checked it yet.”

“Howsoever, congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

“Are you going back now? I’ll walk you back to the front,” Jiwon offered. The woman nodded and uttered more thanks to the man. They walked back to the apartment and found a man was waiting there by a typically expensive car. The man looked funny because of his sense of fashion—it was all over the place—but Jiwon recognized him instantly.

“Thank you, Eun Jiwon- _ssi_ ,” the pregnant woman said again, walking to the man’s side gracefully.

“Anytime,” Jiwon said, “Would you like to have my number just in case you need to know anything about your brother?” He said this casually and naively, but the man was the one to pull out a card out of his wallet.

“Please call this number. We’re always worried about him, but his best friends here refuse to tell us anything, so any information is very much treasured,” the man said, giving Jiwon an embellished card with classy dark letters on it.

“Thanks, I’ll hold on to this,” Jiwon said. He knew the man before he read the name on the card, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit restless. The man and Jaejin’s younger sister went into the car and drove off a moment later, leaving Jiwon and Sooyoung standing there.

“Let’s go back,” Jiwon told the quiet girl.

When they arrived back at the pond, Jaejin was on the ground, drenched from head to toe. Jiwon snorted. Jaejin huddled himself together, visibly shivering. Jiwon strutted right to him and placed the box next to weird guy.

“You’ve got some powerful link, Jaejin- _ah_ ,” casually Jiwon said. “You should see your sister any day now since you’ll get a nephew or niece soon.” Jaejin stared at him with open wide eyes, as if Jiwon had just spoken in tongue. Jiwon raised his eyebrows and then slowly walked away.

“Right, I’ve got things to do, so bye, Jaejin- _ah_ —and just so you know, I’m your _hyung_ , Lee Jaejin,” he said as his last goodbye. The girl behind him showed the sketchbook to Jaejin again, revealing simple phrase: “It’s a niece.”

Jaejin blinked, then he ran fingers on his wet hair. A niece? He couldn’t hold back the flowery, warm feeling that gradually spread all over his body. A smile also followed. He took the box closer to his folded legs and began to unwrap it. It was just a polished wooden box and inside was nothing more than kimchi. Just the usual, he thought, but he was happy enough with it. He tied the wrap up again and stood up with the box in his hand. However something fell out of the wrap. He noticed it right away, a small and thin rectangle paper. He bent to pick it up. It didn’t look like anything important until he flipped it.

“So small,” Jaejin muttered.

It was a small-scaled ultrasound picture, framed.

* * *

# V: Saturn, the Bringer of Old Age

There was nothing remarkable about that afternoon. It was a fairly nice afternoon and there was no rain, only gentle sunshine and some fluffy clouds over the supposedly blue sky. Unlike any other day, Jiwon chose to sleep this noon, resting his weary mind. The whole apartment was quiet, as usual. No one else was in the room—Sooyoung excused herself to be outside today, but he wouldn’t know until later where she had been. He should begin not to worry too much about her, which was the main reason he stayed inside today.

He dreamt of older days. He recalled unconsciously the boys who were sent to work under his command. They were naïve and excited. No taste of the depth yet in their green age, they were more than ecstatic to start. It reminded him of his own naïve self. He plundered the boys to be proper enough for work. He knew their cover industry as much as he knew about their real industry, but they were vacant of both. It was twice the work and he demanded an assistant. Jiyong was elected to be his assistant that year. Such a capable young man, he had said it himself. He was proud of Jiyong as should a brother be.

“ _I never wanted this, Hyungnim. Working for you is one thing, but obeying this kind of command is out of line_ ,” Jiyong said grimly, his hands rubbing together as his nerve wrecked. Jiwon watched him worryingly in silence for a moment.

“ _Hyung’ll get you out, Jiyongie. Don’t worry_ ,” Jiwon said, assuring. But he wasn’t completely confident about his capability that time. He was in doubt, but the fact that he would have to see Jiyong be plunged into the abyss made him unwilling to give up. Jiwon meddled with his phone, punching the pads roughly. He saw a familiar name finally come up on the screen.

“ _Are you sure, Hyungnim? Is it even possible?_ ”

“ _Come on, Jiyong-ah, trust Hyung a bit, will you?_ ” Jiwon said. “ _It’d be impossible if it were Hyung, but you, it’s easy. Hyung can do it_.”

And so he did. Now, here he was. In a rusty, old apartment with weird guys as neighbours and a strange landlord. Broken coffee machine. Dirty, unused pond as his only option as water entertainment. Low wage job. And knocks at his door.

Knocks?

Jiwon woke up urgently, squinting at the door half awake. The knocking rhythm was peculiar. So peculiar that he would rather not to hear it ever again—but he did. Repeated. Thrice; because he kept quiet. He knew that putting his name on the mailbox downstairs was a terrible idea. The shadow peeped through the narrow crack at the bottom of the door. He slowly sat up and left the sofa. Reluctantly, he turned the lights on and unlocked the door. His heart made a single painful flip at the sight of the correctly assumed guest.

“Long time no see, Jiwon- _ah_.”

******

 

Jang Suwon was about to leave the building when he saw two figures step out of a luxurious car. He frowned and decided that it was better for him to stay for now. He judged that something unwanted or wanted would happen with them in the building. He spied as close as possible while kept his distance.

The strangers were a man and a woman. The man wore sleek clothes, prim and proper type of suit. He was the driver and he opened the door for the woman. The lady was thin and pretty much a lady-type woman with high end clothing of matching pink colour from head to toe. She rode at the back, creating clear assumption that she was the boss of the man.

“This place could be better,” the woman said, mused as she gazed upon the building. She frowned slightly and then added, “From the look of it, the building must be from before the war broke. Could be from the Japanese. Five rooms per floor, the whole building occupies a good portion of the land, but the land itself spread further than just the apartment. I wonder who governs this land and how this hasn’t been demolished or converted into something more useful.”

“It’s almost a ruin, Miss,” her companion pointed out. Well, they were goddamn right. Suwon wanted to say.

“Oh, is it?” asked the woman sarcastically. _You thought so, bitch._ Suwon replied in his mind. They began to walk towards the building. Suwon quickly went back into his room and locked himself inside before they could pass the front door. He heard them quite clearly even from the room.

The man said, “From the information we were able to gather, only six out of ten rooms are functional. It turns out that the landlord has no intention on fixing whatever stopping him from renting the remaining four. One of the rooms is used as storage room, one is completely deserted and said to be haunted because some murder took place there—it has yet to be confirmed, though. The remaining two have broken functionalities, such as broken pipes and… holes on the roof.”

The woman laughed acerbically.

“Menial problems.”

The man chuckled politely before saying: “The landlord is goddamn stingy, Ma’am.” They stopped their steps—Suwon heard—and they must be standing in front of the mailboxes.

“There must be something to it, though, but I won’t care about it,” the woman said speculatively. “If there were any openings, I guess it would be fun to join the party.” Suwon didn’t understand at all this time. Did she mean something was happening right under his nose, in this very building, and probably next to him all the time, but he had no idea whatsoever?

“There he is,” the man said, pointing out excitedly. “Room number six.”

“It’s upstairs. Let’s go,” the woman spoke. Suwon heard them begin to walk again, this time towards the stairs.

“That man—I knew he is dangerous,” Suwon said, gritting his teeth slightly. The very thought of Eun Jiwon moving in to the building was bothering him to the end of his nerves. He would have to wait until those people leave unless he wanted to clean up another mess.

*****

Lee Sooyeon sat straight on the stool, unwilling to be on the cheap sofa that would definitely ruin her dress. She tipped the murky water in her cup. Jiwon had said it was black tea, but it didn’t smell like it at all, neither it looked like one. Her companion stood at attention next to the door, just in case. Jiwon stared hard at her, perhaps assuming holes might appear if he glared hotly enough. She smirked despite her displeasure in a form of a cuppa. She wore her best charming smile that made the man fall for her decades ago.

“Stop it,” Jiwon snapped. He was unaffected—all that he left behind himself would do nothing but enraged him, he knew.

“If you really want me to stop, then you will tell me where my sister is—and give her back to me,” she spat, suddenly wasn’t wearing her mask of virtue any longer. Jiwon chuckled mockingly, leaning further back into his sofa. Sometimes it was quite amusing to be in his position.

“I have told her times and times again not to stay with me, but she won’t leave.”

“You should have sent her away anyway,” she raised her voice slightly.

“She has freewill, I can’t just dictate how she lives,” Jiwon said. “I am not her father or uncle or brother.” The woman’s face reddened.

“Of course you are not,” she muttered. Her eyes glared. “She belongs to _my_ family. Give her back, Eun Jiwon.”

“You know she is still attending school. Why don’t you just pick her up there?”

“You know I have written rules about interfering school activities,” she replied a bit vehemently. “And she always leaves unpredictably. Only you know when and where she will be. Why else did I bother to come and seek you?”

“Well, she _could_ _be_ more into school if _you_ did something about everything,” Jiwon jabbed roughly. “She is being bullied for years at school. No one helps her! Of course, she will have to leave school early and skip days. No one wants to be publicly humiliated five days per week, eight hours per day.”

“That’s not something I can help!” Lee Sooyeon’s voice abruptly rang through the whole room. She breathed heavily. “There is nothing I can do about it. She just has to live with it, Jiwon. It’s just that simple.”

The host’s face darkened. He clenched his jaw and affixed his glare at the window across the room. _It’s just that simple_. The sentence sank in only to boil his blood. He turned towards the woman he used to call dearly.

“Get out,” he said.

“Pardon?”

“Get out of here!” Jiwon shouted. He was on his feet. He snatched the cup and threw it against the wall. He grabbed the woman by both arms and yelled at her, “It’s never been _that_ simple! It’s not simple for her—why don’t you ever think about how she feels?”

“Seriously, you don’t want to do this to me, Jiwon- _ah_ ,” the woman said albeit her body trembled. Jiwon tightened his grasp momentarily before releasing her completely.

“You can’t just expect her to stand alone, _Noona_ ,” Jiwon said quietly.

“But she is not alone, is she?” Sooyeon sardonically asked. The man leered at her with eyebrows knitted. “She has you, doesn’t she?”

“Stop.”

“Why? Because it’s true?” Sooyeon teased, but her rage was palpable. “You fucking disgusting. You’ve been fucking her all this time, haven’t you? You were tired of same old hag, so you tried out a fresh slab of meat. Confess now and I might consider letting you marry _my sister_ , Eun Jiwon.”

“Hah?!”

Jiwon couldn’t believe his ears. This came around again and it was worse than ever. His hands itched to slap her, but he was against violence on women. His fists balled.

“Take it back,” he said. “Take it back!”

“No, I know it’s true! Now tell me where the bitch is. I won’t let her see you ever again, you murderer!”

That word rang in Jiwon’s ears, pushing a button of time bomb. The trigger had been activated. His fist flew and there was limited consciousness that he had right now. _I am not a murderer_ —his own voice echoed in his head.

Before everything took the worst turn, there was a knock at the door. Jiwon’s head was suddenly clear again. He quickly retracted his hand and went to answer the door. A young man stood there. Jiwon knew that this guy lived downstairs and he was the landlord’s son, Jang Suwon. The young man peeked over Jiwon’s shoulder, curious.

“I heard a ruckus just a moment ago. Is everything all right?” he asked.

“Yes, nothing big,” Jiwon said quite sarcastically. “My guests are just leaving. Sorry about the noise.” The men at the door looked into the room, to the said guests. Sooyeon stood up and picked her bag up reluctantly as she indirectly admitted defeat.

“Yes, we were just leaving,” she said. “Come on, Kyo.”

They strutted past Suwon and went just like that without greetings. As soon as they were at the parking lot, Jiwon turned to his landlord.

“Thanks, man,” he said, “You saved me from getting into a mess.”

“Save it,” Suwon harshly replied. “Tell me, are you living alone in here?”

Jiwon scratched his neck and slapped his lips together. It wasn’t unexpected, but he wasn’t ready to answer it after the recent occurring. He didn’t have any other options, though, than to come clean. He couldn’t risk another loss for now. He sighed and admitted it.

“There’s a girl who lives with me right now. She’s some sort of a sister for me, but legally she is that woman’s sister. Is it not allowed?”

“I won’t say it’s not allowed,” Suwon firmly said, “But it would be better to tell me at least because who knows this secret would drag me into whatever mess it caused. It’s only fair for the one who looks after you freaks.”

“Hey, who are you calling freaks? Don’t lump me with those guys!—Jiyong’s okay, but the rest of them are weirder than me, okay?”

“Whatever, just don’t break anything,” Suwon expressionlessly warned him. Jiwon just shrugged and the other accepted it silently as he began leaving. Jiwon wondered as he watched the young man walk towards the stairs, where on earth Lee Sooyoung was now.

* * *

# VI: Uranus, the Magician

A distant memory, one that had been direly pushed back into a dark corner, resurfaced and enveloped all of his being. He was still moving and functioning, but his real consciousness watched everything from a distance. The shell of his being was smiling brightly and nimbly writing down the names on plastic cups. His pale hands fiddled expertly on the register machine, tapping on the screen of vibrant, yet overly familiar display and options. The face that tugged the cork was there, too, before his hollow eyes.

A torture it should be, if he was being honest with himself, but as he drifted away from the frozen feelings he nurtured so never they would come out again, he felt no anguish. The memory remained to bother his conscience, poking at the preserved humanity he had left. Those eyes, those lips, that voice, all was served to tempt him. There was a dark room here, and all he wanted to do was to hide there, but it was locked tight.

“What a coincidence,” the voice spoke sweetly, as it was in his memory.

“Please wait for a moment, Ma’am,” his shell replied professionally. The smile bloomed again, but it was of pity. The ball of frozen feelings was slowly painted by disgust, turning grey first then black.

“Honey, here!” a man called out to the face he currently observed intently. Oh, how his blood should boil at the very sight of that man—but it didn’t.

“Remember Kim Kigwan?” the now-stranger casually asked. “We’re going to be married in a month.”

“I heard. Congratulations, Junsim- _ah_ ,” his automated shell replied with a deceivingly kind smile. The other smiled back.

“The best decision I’ve ever made. I won’t be able to be there if not for you,” the Junsim said, almost too sincere it should have broken his dignity. He smiled again and handed the printed receipt to her. She waved a bit and then stepped away from the counter to sit with her fiancé.

He felt dizzy all of a sudden. His eyes hurt. His head was spinning. He tried his best to cope with his condition for now, but as soon as he managed to leave the front, his breath was heavy again. His hands shook badly.

“ _Why do I live?_ ”

His own voice repeatedly asked inside his head.

“ _Sorry, man, but you have no future_.”

“ _But I went all the way from Hawaii to Seoul for this! You can’t just do this to me_.”

“ _I can._ ”

A rush of unwanted recollection attacked him. He lost his dream and he was unable to cope with it. No one could possibly cope with it—he thought. He lost his money. He lost his home. His everything.

“ _Get out. No money, no more room._ ”

“ _Please, let me stay for a week—no, two days!_ ”

“ _No means no. Get out or I’ll call the police!_ ”

He barely remembered it, but he had blurry view of a nasty event. He went through the crowd, as a beggar that he was at the moment, and strode straight to the face he hated the most. He threw something—something he couldn’t remember—but he knew well that it was humiliating. There was a scream and a face that caused him even more enraged. His hand probably was flying over there, but he couldn’t remember exactly. What he wouldn’t fail to recall was the moment he sat behind the bars, at the corner, accepting his fate as those people pressed him to serve them.

“ _If you don’t want to, why won’t you just kill yourself?_ ”

One of them said it.

Then, it wasn’t long after he entered the cold cell, he was brought out.

“ _You are bailed out by a friend—aren’t you ashamed that an abusive man like you gets bailed for your sins? Disgusting_.”

“Because of the few words we shared,I do not want you to worry too much.”

Kang Sunghoon didn’t realize that he had long gone from his place of work. He was back home, well, near but not quite home yet. It was by the pond the voice that woke him up from his state of madness. A girl in a student uniform was sitting by the dirty old pond with a sketchbook and she was singing. His desperate attempt to can his pain and consciousness suddenly was annulled. The voices stopped and his favourite song replaced them.

_“I did not mean what I said yesterday.If I hurt you, I am sorry.”_

“You know that song?” Sunghoon asked without any second thought. The girl leered at him calmly. Oh, Sunghoon knew her. She was with Eun Jiwon. She wrote down something on a notebook she had lying next her feet.

“It’s my special someone’s favourite song,” it read.

“Can I sing it with you?” Sunghoon asked, carefully making his way towards the pond. Keeping his distance from the girl, he sat and became strangely normal.

“You like that song?” she asked back with her notebook. She looked terribly calm and expressionless. Sunghoon felt there should be something that he did before she began to sing. Something improper, he was sure, but she showed as if nothing mattered more than a casual conversation about a song.

“It is my favourite,” he found himself answering happily.

She didn’t reply, just began to sing again from the top. Her voice was clear and soothing. It sounded like cool breeze that graced one’s bare skin. Sunghoon knew, placed next to the original singer, her version was sadder. It was like a change from the gentle strokes on the singing viola to sentimental brushes on the pining violin.

“ _Because of the few words we shared, I don’t want you to think about farewell_ ,” he began to sing, entering the second verse. His voice was familiar yet foreign at the same time. It had been a long time since he heard himself sang and he had miserably forgotten how blissful it was to sing. He found himself smiling. “ _It is the love we have for life. I can’t always have good things._ ”

She joined him for the chorus, complementing him.

_“You are a part of me._

_If you can’t fill it no more,_

_I will try to cope._

_A broken heart._

_Do not do it now.”_

Somehow, despite the song’s nature of pining and pleading, Sunghoon was reaching some sort of glorious contentment. He looked into the girl’s face as they sang together. It felt as if they were standing in a stage and many witnessed their performance. It was fulfilling.

“ _The pain of living—_ ”

_Oh, yes, the pain of living, Sunghoon remembered distantly._

“ _On our encounter—_ ”

_How ironic_

_the memory he wished to have no more_

_fuelled the lyrics with_

_correct amount of pain_

_so that_

_the singing became_

_more_

_beautiful_

_than_

_ever._  
  
---  
  
“ _I believe that it will bring you that much happiness._ ”

_He used to._

“ _A broken heart—_ ”

_A broken sentient._

“ _Do not do it now._ ”

_It was done._

He suddenly was aware of himself and the time he was living, the present. The lyrics came out broken and fragmented as his mouth became rigid, ceased to be functional. He was crying without knowing how it began or why it happened. He just could not stop it. Both his singing and crying he could not stop. No matter how hard it was for him to articulate the words, he just wouldn’t stop. The girl kept singing flawlessly to cover what he had left—the main vocal role—and Sunghoon just followed her with broken voice.

Was it his heart smashed into pieces again? He wondered.

But a smile bloomed on his face. He was weeping, but he was smiling. Only then he found that his storm had calmed down and left was the peaceful passion for singing that he had long buried. He turned his eyes up to the sky. Tears still rolled down his cheeks to his neck, but suddenly the sky was bluer than ever. As the song ended, his eyes caught the girl’s new scribbling.

“Go away now. You are happy, it’s annoying.”

Sunghoon couldn’t help but smiling even wider. He laughed. For the first time in a while, he truly laughed. He got to his feet and dusted his pants.

“You shouldn’t sing with me if you don’t want me to be happy, then,” Sunghoon protested seriously. “Singing my favourite song always brings me to elated state!” The girl rolled her eyes and went back to her sketching instead of replying. Sunghoon bowed and hung his head in front of the girl, tilted. A bright smile was on his face.

“Thank you,” he said. “I’m Kang Sunghoon. If you or Eun Jiwon ever need any help, please let me know. Bye.”

The girl leered at him for a second and nodded briefly. Sunghoon straightened up and walked away with lighter heart. How easy it was, he thought. It was like magic. He guessed having that new guy in room six and the girl in the building could bring a change after all.

* * *

 

# VII: Neptune, the Mystic

Blue, expansive body of water; carved by wind and the moon. Cool and yet dynamic, marvellous and yet dangerous was the ocean. For countless times humans claimed we all came from sea. The mother of life, giving birth to all bodies that roamed the earth: the sea.

For a brief moment, it was cold and quiet. It shouldn’t be, but it was. It wasn’t summer anymore—people tend to forget about the sea after summer ended. But the coldness and quietness of the sea lasted no longer than a moment for the sea was full of life and its silence and draughtiness was merely a part of charismatic charm that it embodied.

Two figures slowly approached from the village direction, heading straight for the shore. As they went down the sandy hill, the man between the two held the other’s hand, leading and carefully making a path for the other. They didn’t speak any words, but they were understanding each other flawlessly.

“We should have come earlier,” said Jiwon as soon as they were at the sea level, disappointed slightly at the fact they arrived right on time to watch the sun set. He was not fully disappointed, though, and Sooyoung knew. They walked towards the coast. It was eerily soothing for them both.

“You’ve always disliked the sea, Sooyoung- _ah_ ,” Jiwon said. The girl didn’t say anything, but Jiwon chuckled at her expression. “The sea was something I have in common with your sister, that’s true, but I have loved the sea long before I met her.”

Sooyoung crouched and grazed the wet sand beneath her. A lick of waves washed away the traces of her touch. Jiwon would crouch with her if his knees weren’t in such a bad condition. He watched as she gracefully brushed her hand in the water, writing invisible letters. For a moment, and just that moment, Jiwon was a man watching over a woman. Sooyoung sighed loudly and folded her arms. At that very moment, Jiwon blinked and turned his eyes away, towards the sea. Sooyoung, then, was on her feet

Everything was back into place.

The sunset wasn’t a beauty one expected to see as in photographs and movies. The sky was hardly red and almost the usual blue. The waves were calming down. They just stood near enough for their feet to be grazed by billows of waves, and so, they quietly watched.

There were many things that bothered them, but none spoken. Easily, they let the swirling wind to take those away, far from them. For a moment, there wasn’t any burden on their chests, no bad memories, just the two of them and the sea. Nothing more, nothing less. At least that was, until Sooyoung poked Jiwon’s sleeve urgently. Jiwon turned to the voiceless girl with questioning look.

“ _There_ ,” her eyes answered along with her pointing finger.

In the distance, they saw a man walk through the wooden path carefully put for the anglers. He had a huge ransack in his hands. Even from where they stood, they knew something was going to happen.

*****

No one was watching, he thought. He drove off to the shore in an old car he bought years ago, but rarely used. The sea greeted him with tremendous force. Its curling waves resembled beckoning hands that impatiently invited him to come away with them. He did not mind. He did not, at all.

Staring deeply at the red spiral on his painting, his heart was hardened like stone. He tried, and tried, to remember what this red spiral was. He wanted to know, but his memory rejected his curiosity. All he remembered was humiliation, inhuman level of humiliation, and anger. His fingers dug deep into the canvas, tearing it apart. He shifted his eyes up, to the sea. With a whisk of his wrist, he threw the painting into the sea. More paintings he took out from his ransack. He broke them one by one, tore to shreds or broke into two, and then threw them into the sea. No one could see those hideous paintings anymore.

The water before him was tempting, tempting him to succumb. It wasn’t much, he probably wouldn’t die if he jumped, but he wanted to. Perhaps if he didn’t try to swim he could die? He leaned forward and felt himself pulled in by the sea.

The next thing he knew was dark and suffocating feeling.

Then, rough hands around his chest, dragging him out of water.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” an equally rough voice yelled at him. Jaejin opened his eyes and coughed. His chest and many holes were filled by water. He was _this_ close to die by drowning.

“Why did you pull me out?” Jaejin asked petulantly. He had yet to be aware of his surrounding, but when he did, he felt like doomed.

“Why did I? Why would I let someone drown?”

It was Eun Jiwon, the man who had interfered with his life twice. His bracelet was still around Jaejin’s wrist for a reason that Jaejin himself didn’t know. He was furious and Jaejin shrank before him, cowered. He felt terribly guilty even though this man shouldn’t have that kind of effect on him.

“I’m responsible for my own life—don’t touch me!” Jaejin yelled, slapping Jiwon’s supposedly helping hand away. Jiwon was headstrong, more stubborn than anyone Jaejin had encountered before.

“But killing yourself is wrong!” Jiwon insisted while he tried to stop Jaejin from getting away.

“Who said that?”

“My appa!”

“Your appa? What are you? A kid?” Jaejin yelled even louder than he ever did before. He tried to stand, but he wobbled and ended up on his bum again. Jiwon shouted angrily:

“Shut up!”

“Why are you even helping me?”

Jiwon genuinely looked shocked. He said—

“Just because we are not that close yet, it doesn’t mean I could stand and watch as someone I know jumps into the sea purposely to drown themselves and I can do something to save them!”

This was unacceptable. Jaejin could not accept to be saved thrice by same person. That was as much as his dignity went.

“Mind your own business! Don’t act as if you were a hero!”

“I’m done being a hero—I’ll be the villain to your suicide attempt!” Jiwon pressed, grinning with determined look on his face.

“What?”

“I’ll be a referee!”—Jiwon rummaged through the pockets he had all over his clothes and after a moment, he took out a printed photograph of himself—“Here! You get a red card! Out, out, you have to sit on the bench now! Don’t fight the referee!”

“What the…” Jaejin was astounded, again, but he wasn’t here to listen to anyone. No one could stop him from doing what he wanted! “Stop it! You don’t know how it feels to lose hope and want nothing but death!”

He didn’t see it. He would have understood if it was Eun Jiwon who came for him, but it wasn’t. The girl, who spoke no word and hid behind the man, stepped forward. She shoved Jiwon aside and slapped Jaejin across the face. Her own face was red and filled purely by rage. Her eyes were glassy from tears that were held back. She stomped off right after.

“Lehua- _yah_! Wait, where are you going?” Jiwon shouted, but he didn’t chase her more than a couple of steps. “Don’t go too far! _Oppa_ ’ll come for you later!”

Jaejin was stunned. The right side of his face stung. Somehow, he understood or, at least, felt what line he had crossed just by saying that before. Jiwon turned to him, unimpressed. For a brief moment, Jaejin expected that the man would yell at him again, but he held out a hand.

“Come on, let’s sit for a bit and drink,” said Jiwon, unbelievably gentle.

*****

It was aching, everywhere. He could barely leave his bed this morning. Sometimes he wondered how he could survive all these years with incessant pain that never ceased like this. Jaeduk mourned alone by the shore, pitifully trying to douse himself in analgesic ointment again. He shouldn’t have agreed to go to the sea. It just made the pain stronger than before.

“Jaeduk- _ah_ , are you all right?” Tony asked worriedly. He had been the one who initiated the plan, Tony, and the staffs were more than happy to oblige. Jaeduk didn’t want to be the party pooper, so he came along. Now that everyone had left except the two of them, Jaeduk began to feel it again.

“I’ll be fine, _Hyung_. You should go, everyone’s waiting,” he said.

“Are you sure you’re not coming home with us?” Tony asked. A total worrywart, but that was exactly why Jaeduk felt comfortable with him. He nodded and gave the other man a push on the back.

“I’ll be back with Sunghoonie. He’s still swimming,” he replied.

“Don’t stay too long. You don’t know when the pain will overwhelm you, right?”

“ _Hyung_ ,” Jaeduk intervened. “You’re going to be left behind.”

“Okay, okay, see you at work, then,” said Tony, giving up. As he walked towards the parking lot, Jaeduk turned his eyes away.

He sat on the bench, the only bench around probably, and fixated his gaze on the sea. The lights were slowly dying and darkness would come any minute now. The chilly wind bit into his joints, permeating through his skin—it was killing him gradually. He took out his ointment again, that he had hidden whenever Tony was around, and began to smear the cream over his knees and other joints. When the pain slightly ceased, he noticed that he wasn’t alone anymore on that bench.

Lee Sooyoung was sitting next to him.

“Oh, you’re here too?” Jaeduk asked, laughing. The girl stared at him as if she knew that he wasn’t fine just like he was trying to pose. His laugh stopped and the smile faded. The shadow double Jaeduk saw that day was still with her today. It was prominently conveying a worried look.

“Is it obvious? Have you been here long?” Jaeduk asked quietly. Sooyoung nodded. He realized that the girl had nothing on her hands. Of course—he thought.

“You don’t have notebooks with you?”

But she scribbled on the sand. It read:

“I didn’t need it.”

“Sure.”—Jaeduk laughed—“Are you with, uh, Eun Jiwon?” She nodded. “Why are you here, though? Wouldn’t he be worried?” Sooyoung shifted her eyes down to her knees. She just stared at them quietly.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Jaeduk said.

Then, they just sat together in silence. Strangely, it was a comfortable silence. Until it was broken by a loud voice, calling:

“Sooyoung- _ah_!”

A man was jogging towards them. Jaeduk hadn’t seen him before, but he could assume that he was Eun Jiwon.

“Let’s eat, Sooyoung- _ah_ ,” said the man. Jaeduk thought he was here to nag or yell at the girl for some sort of running away.

“Where could we eat here?” a familiar voice piped up.

“Jaejin- _ah_ , you’re here too?” Jaeduk asked, amazed by the fact his ears didn’t deceive him. His friend, Lee Jaejin, was behind the other man, only now he stepped aside and showed himself. Jaejin looked as surprised.

“What’re you doing here?” Jaejin asked back.

“I was with my co-workers,” replied Jaeduk. “Didn’t I tell you this morning?”

“Ah, yes, I just remembered.” Jaejin sheepishly smiled.

“Is there any other bench here? I need to sit down,” the Eun Jiwon said while busied himself with a picnic basket next to Sooyoung. The two huddled together naturally.

“There’s one over there, _Hyung_ ,” Jaejin said, pointing at big rock that apparently had flat surface. Jaeduk was surprised, though, when he heard Jaejin.

“Wait, ‘ _hyung_ ’?”

“Oh, you’ve not acquainted yet?” Jaejin exclaimed. “Jaeduk- _ah_ , this is Eun Jiwon- _hyung_ , _Hyung_ , this is Kim Jaeduk.”

“I knew him.” Eun Jiwon said nonchalantly as he took Sooyoung’s hand in his and began to walk towards the rock. “This one here told me,” added he, gesturing to the girl. Jaeduk followed them as Jaejin also left.

“You told him?” he demanded, feeling slightly betrayed.

“She tells me whatever she needs me to know, so you better don’t do funny things,” warned Jiwon. The girl leered at Jaeduk with a slight smirk, but Jaeduk saw the shadow was trying to make him not to worry about it at all.

“Okay, but Jaejin- _ah_ ,”—Jaeduk let it slide for now and went back to his childhood friend for a more urgent matter—“You’re already that close to… that you called him _hyung_ already?” His voice was quiet.

“No, but I trust him,” Jaejin answered as quiet as possible.

Jaeduk halted and watched in awe. His strange and stubborn friend who followed his own rules, the one who had layered system of social hierarchy, embraced a complete stranger without drinking coffee or eating dumplings in wee hours. Jaeduk knew Jaejin hadn’t been out of his room lately, if not at all since Sunghoonie’s birthday last February, so he knew Jaejin was supposed not to be able to bond with anyone.

“Did you put a spell on my friend or what?” Jaeduk quietly whispered to Jiwon when they all settled on the rock, each with a piece of sandwich. Jiwon stared at him as if he had two heads.

“I put my bracelet on him, so yeah,” Jiwon replied easily.

“You should teach me to put the spell on a bracelet, then,” Jaeduk said, biting into his sandwich. Oh, the sandwich was good, he thought. For a while, they just ate and drank. Sooyoung was behind Jaeduk and Jiwon, taking out more servings. Jaejin was near her, gobbling whatever he could reach.

“Thanks for standing up for my sister at school,” Jiwon suddenly said. “No one has ever done it before.”

“She’s your sister?”

“She’s my ex-wife’s adopted sister, but just pretend that she’s mine.”

“Pretend?” Jaeduk was flabbergasted.

“Hey, Jaeduk- _ah_ ,” Jaejin called, suddenly was next to him, standing. “Isn’t that Sunghoonie?”

In the distance, a figure was standing in the water. Half of their body had been below the water level. Jaeduk dropped everything and ran towards the person. Jaejin impulsively went after him. He was there before Jaeduk, but he stopped just before the coast ended. He didn’t take any step further into the sea. Fright was painted on his face. Jaeduk bolted past him and showed no hesitation as he plunged himself into the cold seawater.

“Kang Sunghoon! What are you doing?”

The person turned his head slowly, as if they were just shaken awake from a daydream. It was indeed Sunghoon. He smiled apologetically, but he didn’t move an inch.

“I just wanted to swim, _Hyung_ ,” he said innocently. His chest was now below the water. Jaeduk loudly rejected the answer. He harshly pulled the man back to the shore.

“Swimming, more like rock-style swimming! Come on.”

The simple heroic action took toll on his body. The previously less painful joints were now back. Jaeduk felt, especially his old wound, the throbbing pain drain his energy and consciousness. Someone saved him from fumbling over his own foot. Jaeduk knew without seeing that this couldn’t be Jaejin.

“You again!” the rough voice yelled. “Jaejin- _ah_ , aren’t you going to help them? No? Aish. Sooyoung- _ah_ , here, hold him for me, please.”

Jaeduk could not feel Sunghoon’s wrist in his hand anymore. Honestly, he couldn’t feel anything but torturous pain now. He hoped he didn’t show any embarrassing face because there was a girl present right now.

*****

He stared at Sunghoon. If he stepped any closer now, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from joining the rash action. After all, just a moment ago he was about to jump into the sea. But more than that, Jaejin shivered out of rage and fear at the very thought of his hands touching other person.

“ _I have hurt so many people with my hands_ ,” he had told Eun Jiwon. “ _I thought this morning maybe if I were dead, no one would suffer from these hands ever again._ ”

“ _What a silly thought_ ,” the man had responded. It boiled his blood.

“ _You don’t know how it’s like!_ ”

“ _Hell if I know, but deciding something as serious as that on your own without talking it out with people who care about you is outright unacceptable. Don’t you have Eunju?_ ”

“ _Don’t bring her—_ ”

“ _Fuck, Lee Jaejin! How would your younger sister feel if she suddenly found out her big brother was dead one morning? Have you thought about it? She, who is currently pregnant, suddenly was told that you were dead—how do you think she would react? Are you brainless or what?_ ”

The hot amber in that man’s eyes shut Jaejin up. He was stupid, indeed, but he could not help it sometimes. He understood why Sunghoon kept trying to end his life. Sometimes they just could not stop the thoughts. He expected Jiwon to lecture him with some inspiring motivational quotes or something, but the man just sighed.

“ _Come on, I know it’s not easy to bear a heavy burden and living is hard, but don’t leave just yet. I can’t do much, but I promise, I’ll do whatever in my power to help you. We have just started to know each other._ ”

If he were to lie to himself, he would say that these words meant nothing. That his heart wasn’t moved by the words and the gentle and caring tone Jiwon used to deliver them.

“ _Why?_ ” was all Jaejin could say.

“ _What do you mean why?_ ”

“ _Why would you promise something like that? We barely know each other_.”

“ _What do you mean? I’m your hyung, Jaejin-ah. You matter to me. As your big brother, it’s my duty to care for you._ ”

“ _That’s absurd._ ” Jaejin still could not accept it—he mattered to Jiwon? Since when? That wasn’t probable.

“ _No, it’s not_ ,” _—_ Jiwon grabbed him by shoulder, hugging him affectionately—“ _Isn’t what you will do for your sister?_ ”

Jaejin was amazed at himself for not flinching at all when it happened.

“ _Yeah_ ,” he quietly agreed.

“ _Then, it’s not. Accept it, Lee Jaejin. You won’t die as long as I live._ ”

That man brought Jaeduk to the rock and laid him there while the girl dragged the dazed Sunghoon away from water, but not to the rock. There wasn’t enough space left. Jaejin wanted, truly wanted to help his friend. Both of them. But he was afraid that the memories would resurface if he ever touched them.

Sooyoung’s eyes on him, strangely not judging, but examining.

“Sorry,” he muttered as soon as he was standing next to Jiwon.

“Don’t mind it, what’s wrong with your friend, Jaejin- _ah_? He’s awake, but he won’t respond to me,” Jiwon said, waving his hand in front of Jaeduk’s eyes.

“He has a condition that makes his body experience immense pain all the time,” Sunghoon said instead of Jaejin. The blond man rummaged through Jaeduk’s pockets with shaking hands. They waited until he found whatever he was looking for: a pouch. He gave it to Jiwon.

“Can you please give him two tablets of paracetamol?”

“Okay,” Jiwon replied even though he didn’t sound sure. “Jaejin- _ah_ , prop him up. Sooyoung- _ah_ , a cup of water, please.”

Again, Jaejin was unable to move at the command. He just stood motionlessly until Jiwon stared him, expecting. Sooyoung and Sunghoon directed their eyes to him, too. Sunghoon knew what was holding him off, but Sooyoung didn’t. Their gazes were all different. Jaejin ended up stagger towards Jaeduk and did what he was told to do. Something crawled on his skin as his palms scooped Jaeduk’s backside carefully.

“Jaejin- _hyung_ …”

He heard Sunghoon gasped.

*****

The gathering crowd on the rock was curious. They didn’t know that there were people at the beach around this hour, especially this part of the beach. Jiyong turned to Yangim. They were both questioning what they saw, so they tacitly agreed to check it out. Perhaps they could be of any help.

“Why are you all here?” Jiyong asked upon finding familiar faces huddled together.

They all turned him except Jaeduk whose head was supported by Jaejin and he seemed to be unconscious. Jiyong’s eyes were focused on Jaejin for a moment, then he shifted his gaze to Jiwon. He shook his head. Somehow his presence alone answered every single question that popped up inside Jiyong’s head.

“What did happen?” Yangim questioned, crouching next to Sunghoon. She observed the pale and wet man intensively.

“Many things happened,” Jiwon informatively answered. “I guess we should go back home now.”

“From what I see, I must agree,” Jiyong responded immediately. “This is one hellish rendezvous. I bet you came here separately.”

“The sea, Jiyong- _ah_ , is mysterious,” Jiwon said, grinning. “Are you on a date?”

“We’re hiding from my dad’s henchmen, _Oppa_ ,” Yangim said. Jiyong leered at her, unimpressed. He wished the woman would consider to be less open with Eun Jiwon because that was how dependency began.

“As always—then, we shouldn’t bother you two,” Jiwon decided. He took Jaeduk in his arms, supporting him. He pointed at the picnic basket. Lee Sooyoung took care of the cleaning right away.

“No, let’s all go back together,” Jiyong said. He stepped forward and helped Sunghoon before Jaejin’s apparent hesitation and contemplation came into conclusion. Yangim wiped Sunghoon’s forehead with tissue she had in her bag, and the man thanked her in whispering voice.

“Did you come here with a car?” she asked Sunghoon.

“Tony- _hyung_ borrowed us his car. Jaeduk- _hyung_ has the key.”

“I’ll drive,” Jiyong said instantly.

They, then, walked to the parking lot above. There were only four cars parked in the whole lot. One belonged to Jaejin, one was Yangim’s, the third one was Tony’s, and the last one curiously looked like Suwon, but Jiyong thought it would be too much a stretch if every one of the building’s residents was here.

“Jaejin- _hyung_ ,” Jiyong called the man who walked slightly behind him. “Don’t push yourself to do something you are unable to.” He was worried.

“I wanted to help and his command, I don’t know, I just wanted to obey,” Jaejin quietly answered. “You know that guy, Jiyong- _ah_?” Ko Jiyong should have foreseen this. It might be quite problematic.

“Pretty much.”

“He’s sure always in wrong time and wrong place, isn’t he?” Sunghoon said, laughing sarcastically.

“Exactly as you said,” Jiyong agreed.

The man they were talking about had just finished helping Jaeduk sit in the backseat of Yangim’s car and now he was discussing with Yangim as how the arrangement should be. Jaejin joined in naturally and insisted that Sunghoon should be in his car instead so Tony’s car wouldn’t be soiled. In his defence, Jaeduk would not like it if Tony knew something like this happened, so it was best for them to keep the car clean and spotless.

“I’ll drive the car alone, then,” Jiyong proposed. “ _Hyung_ , you should be with Yangim.”

“How about Sooyoung rides the car with you?” Jiwon asked. “It’s better if no one sits next to Jaeduk, right?”

“I agree,” Sunghoon weakly exclaimed from inside Jaejin’s car.

“Okay, then, let’s—Suwon?” Jiyong stopped short.

Jang Suwon appeared before them, looking ragged. He jumped slightly at the unusual sight that welcomed him. Jiyong observed, but said nothing. Suwon hurriedly wiped his hands with a rag and threw the soiled rag into his car’s boot. He looked as if he had just finished running around the beach for a couple of hours.

“Why are you here?” he asked naturally, unlocking his car’s door.

“We just somehow met,” Yangim answered for all of them. Suwon nodded, then his eyes caught the person sitting at the back of car behind Yangim. He had been halfway to sit behind the wheel, but he climbed back out.

“Is that Jaeduk- _hyung_?”

“The analgesic hasn’t worked yet,” Jiyong simply explained.

“Can—can you please move him into my car?” Suwon asked, petrified. “I will take him to the hospital.”

Jiyong wasn’t a psychic, but he could feel something was off.

“I’m coming with you,” Jiyong said. He turned to Jiwon, handing the keys to him as natural as breathing. “ _Hyungnim_ , please take the car with you. We will be back later.”

Suwon seemed to be uneasy, uncomfortable with the turn of events. As much as he was expressionless, it was visible for even insensitive and unobservant people. Jiyong glanced at the ocean far at the horizon briefly, hoping to catch some clues although he knew it wasn’t possible right now. Darkness had finally enveloped the whole place now.

“Sooyoung- _ah_ , put the basket here.”

It was the last thing Jiyong heard before he was inside the car with Suwon and Jaeduk. They left before the others. His beautiful girl smiled and waved at him, sending him away. Something wasn’t quite right. Jaejin behind the wheel of his own car, Sunghoon at the back, Jiwon and Sooyoung—Jiyong felt something was coming for them all.

“Jiyong- _ah_ , why are only pathetic people living in the apartment?” Suwon asked, rather rhetorically, as they drove off. Jiyong chuckled. He wondered why, too.


End file.
